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THIS Lie is HUGE....
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 318006" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>My first reaction when Dude made ANY contact with ANY of 'them' was months ago. It was through My Space. Dude did not tell me for quite some time and when he did? He was looking for the shock and awe look that I wasn't going to give. He finally admitted to me that he had talked to his biofather on the phone. I was shocked and 100 other things but would have never allowed Dude to know what I was really thinking. I kept thinking about all the therapy and the time and the emotions that I spent and the anger that I had to watch Dude spend living in for the last 15 years. The hideous things that the therapists told me he lived through and the possibility that he may or may not seek this man out some day. The mere thought that he would even want a relationship with a man that had sold him for crack was beyond me. The things that this man did to me are beyond explaination. </p><p> </p><p>I'm not afraid of him anymore. I'm just nothing where he is concerned and that's really odd for me too. Don't doubt that there isn't some heightened concern or that extra precautions haven't been taken recently. I'm not stupid and I'm not taking any chances. He's a dangerous person. But to say that he owns any part of my life in that way or that he consumes my life with fear? No. I paid a dear price to be this educated and calm and self-assured. I spent a lot of time, and energy and gave a great piece of myself to find myself again. Doesn't mean he doesn't infuriate me. Doesn't mean that I want to sit and have a casual conversation about "Hey how are you doing?" - I actually don't want to know anything about him - he's just insignificant. However - when Dude keeps throwing him up in my face as an innocent person who's, repented, sad, sorry, pitiful, and I should feel X about him? THAT would anger anyone. Have I said "Enough already about Dude being disappointed that the man has lied to him for a week straight and can't even send the kid $100?" Yes. Have I said something to the effect of "I told you so, please do not MENTION that name in my presence?" Yup. Have I had to tell my son NOT to talk about any of his lovely plans? YES. (groan) Have I had to be (once again) the parent that has had to deal with the disappointed young man who has been yet again let down by a worthless human being who can't keep even the most simple promise to a child reaching out to him after 15 years? Yup? Is that anything to do with me? Nope. Am I getting involved and telling my x anything? Nope - the man does not deserve to hear a single breath I take and I'm keeping that promise. If Dude choose to smack a hornets nest with a stick - he's going to have to get stung all on his own. I told him this when he started the child support baloney - and I begged him to leave it alone. He didn't listen....and now at 19 - he can deal with the loss, disappointment, grief, stress, anger, contempt, worthless, sinister, evil, manipulative, jerk - all on his own and MAYBE once and for ALL find out - for himself exactly WHY he should cut all ties and leave that particular person alone forever. </p><p> </p><p>This is really a decision that I will not, can not, and choose to not make for him and if I were to be emotional and get upset or cause a scene and beg him to stop? It would send him screaming to meet this person. But....I know this man and he will let you down every time. Dude will be no exception....and so far 1 1/2 weeks into it? He has not been. </p><p> </p><p>As far as the Foster Mother? I don't hate anyone - not even my x. But I don't care for either of them - both are cut from the same cloth. Like I said - she did give him the numbers and the address. It wasn't BFF, he's a good kid. The humorous thing is? She thinks she's so clever - now he has HER address too and x knows SHE threw her son out. He told Dude he's not really happy about that...she's as brilliant as a lump of horse manure. </p><p> </p><p>As far as getting upset or worked up over any of this anymore? Nope. If I'm going to have a heart attack or another stroke? It's going to be over something good.....lol. Not this junk. I'm still not real happy - but what's done is done. </p><p> </p><p>I did get out my lifetime order of protection and put batteries in my alarm. No sense in being last minute about anything. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 318006, member: 4964"] My first reaction when Dude made ANY contact with ANY of 'them' was months ago. It was through My Space. Dude did not tell me for quite some time and when he did? He was looking for the shock and awe look that I wasn't going to give. He finally admitted to me that he had talked to his biofather on the phone. I was shocked and 100 other things but would have never allowed Dude to know what I was really thinking. I kept thinking about all the therapy and the time and the emotions that I spent and the anger that I had to watch Dude spend living in for the last 15 years. The hideous things that the therapists told me he lived through and the possibility that he may or may not seek this man out some day. The mere thought that he would even want a relationship with a man that had sold him for crack was beyond me. The things that this man did to me are beyond explaination. I'm not afraid of him anymore. I'm just nothing where he is concerned and that's really odd for me too. Don't doubt that there isn't some heightened concern or that extra precautions haven't been taken recently. I'm not stupid and I'm not taking any chances. He's a dangerous person. But to say that he owns any part of my life in that way or that he consumes my life with fear? No. I paid a dear price to be this educated and calm and self-assured. I spent a lot of time, and energy and gave a great piece of myself to find myself again. Doesn't mean he doesn't infuriate me. Doesn't mean that I want to sit and have a casual conversation about "Hey how are you doing?" - I actually don't want to know anything about him - he's just insignificant. However - when Dude keeps throwing him up in my face as an innocent person who's, repented, sad, sorry, pitiful, and I should feel X about him? THAT would anger anyone. Have I said "Enough already about Dude being disappointed that the man has lied to him for a week straight and can't even send the kid $100?" Yes. Have I said something to the effect of "I told you so, please do not MENTION that name in my presence?" Yup. Have I had to tell my son NOT to talk about any of his lovely plans? YES. (groan) Have I had to be (once again) the parent that has had to deal with the disappointed young man who has been yet again let down by a worthless human being who can't keep even the most simple promise to a child reaching out to him after 15 years? Yup? Is that anything to do with me? Nope. Am I getting involved and telling my x anything? Nope - the man does not deserve to hear a single breath I take and I'm keeping that promise. If Dude choose to smack a hornets nest with a stick - he's going to have to get stung all on his own. I told him this when he started the child support baloney - and I begged him to leave it alone. He didn't listen....and now at 19 - he can deal with the loss, disappointment, grief, stress, anger, contempt, worthless, sinister, evil, manipulative, jerk - all on his own and MAYBE once and for ALL find out - for himself exactly WHY he should cut all ties and leave that particular person alone forever. This is really a decision that I will not, can not, and choose to not make for him and if I were to be emotional and get upset or cause a scene and beg him to stop? It would send him screaming to meet this person. But....I know this man and he will let you down every time. Dude will be no exception....and so far 1 1/2 weeks into it? He has not been. As far as the Foster Mother? I don't hate anyone - not even my x. But I don't care for either of them - both are cut from the same cloth. Like I said - she did give him the numbers and the address. It wasn't BFF, he's a good kid. The humorous thing is? She thinks she's so clever - now he has HER address too and x knows SHE threw her son out. He told Dude he's not really happy about that...she's as brilliant as a lump of horse manure. As far as getting upset or worked up over any of this anymore? Nope. If I'm going to have a heart attack or another stroke? It's going to be over something good.....lol. Not this junk. I'm still not real happy - but what's done is done. I did get out my lifetime order of protection and put batteries in my alarm. No sense in being last minute about anything. :raspberry-tounge: [/QUOTE]
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