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This really makes me angry!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 247811" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Good Morning--</p><p> </p><p>This feels like a very slippery slope....</p><p> </p><p>The stories of abused kids who grow up to do horrific things make the headlines...while he stories of abused kids who grow up to be normal productive citizens don't. on the other hand--there are stories of kids raised in perfect homes who also grow up to do horrible things. It is the extremes that always focus our attention.</p><p> </p><p>I remember reading a book about parent-child mis-matches (I'm sorry that I cannot recall the title). The premise of the book was that each person is an individual with individual skills, talents, faults, etc--and every individual is born into an environment or family that either enhances, draws out, hides, or frustrates a person's natural-born traits.</p><p> </p><p>Most of us are born into imperfect situations: </p><p> </p><p>For example, I may be a gifted race-car driver, but unless I am born into the Andretti family--there is a very slim chance that my natural racing skills will ever be discovered, much less exploited to bring me fame and fortune. This is true of most of us...we have talents that simply were not useful in the particular family environment in which we grew up.</p><p> </p><p>Similarly, most of us experience frustrations--but not to the point that we become dysfunctional individuals.</p><p> </p><p>However, if a particular individual is born into exactly the right (or exactly the wrong) environment--those extreme talents or faults will be exacerbated.</p><p> </p><p>As an example, Michelangelo--who knew he would have a natural gift for sculpting?--happened to be raised by a family of stonecutters. Today, he is famous for is sculpture. Imagine if he had been raised instead by a family of fisherman? Most likely, we would never have even heard of him...</p><p> </p><p>And then the theory goes, that a person with a particular fault who lands in exactly the wrong type of environment for a person of his temperament--experiences extreme frustration, his personality flaws are magnified instead of his gifts...he will end up on the news for "snapping" and slaughtering his whole family in the middle of the night. And it might not have happened had he been brought up in a environment that was more suited to his unique set of traits.</p><p> </p><p>So...this was my very long way of saying, I am not sure that the parents can be totally faulted for how their kids end up....nor can parents be totally credited if their child does well. There are too many variables....</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyF</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 247811, member: 6546"] Good Morning-- This feels like a very slippery slope.... The stories of abused kids who grow up to do horrific things make the headlines...while he stories of abused kids who grow up to be normal productive citizens don't. on the other hand--there are stories of kids raised in perfect homes who also grow up to do horrible things. It is the extremes that always focus our attention. I remember reading a book about parent-child mis-matches (I'm sorry that I cannot recall the title). The premise of the book was that each person is an individual with individual skills, talents, faults, etc--and every individual is born into an environment or family that either enhances, draws out, hides, or frustrates a person's natural-born traits. Most of us are born into imperfect situations: For example, I may be a gifted race-car driver, but unless I am born into the Andretti family--there is a very slim chance that my natural racing skills will ever be discovered, much less exploited to bring me fame and fortune. This is true of most of us...we have talents that simply were not useful in the particular family environment in which we grew up. Similarly, most of us experience frustrations--but not to the point that we become dysfunctional individuals. However, if a particular individual is born into exactly the right (or exactly the wrong) environment--those extreme talents or faults will be exacerbated. As an example, Michelangelo--who knew he would have a natural gift for sculpting?--happened to be raised by a family of stonecutters. Today, he is famous for is sculpture. Imagine if he had been raised instead by a family of fisherman? Most likely, we would never have even heard of him... And then the theory goes, that a person with a particular fault who lands in exactly the wrong type of environment for a person of his temperament--experiences extreme frustration, his personality flaws are magnified instead of his gifts...he will end up on the news for "snapping" and slaughtering his whole family in the middle of the night. And it might not have happened had he been brought up in a environment that was more suited to his unique set of traits. So...this was my very long way of saying, I am not sure that the parents can be totally faulted for how their kids end up....nor can parents be totally credited if their child does well. There are too many variables.... --DaisyF [/QUOTE]
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