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This takes difficult child to a whole new level...
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 190100" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>This is what is so upsetting about this. He was angry at easy child 2 for making him shut the door and he did this with intent. He wasn't playing around. Would he have actually released the arrow? I don't know. I would hope not, but I don't know. As I said, this opens a whole new door to me, because he took an actual weapon that can killl; a weapon he has seen used to kill; and aimed it at a person ON PURPOSE. He wasn't out of control; he wasn't raging; he walked 100 yards after the incident that made him angry (she made him close the house door), caught up to easy child 2, and did it. It wasnt even heat of the moment. (which is still not excusable, but I hope I'm conveying what I see the difference to be here...I'm not always good at explaining).</p><p>***</p><p>Thank you all for the thoughts and support. Nothing said upsets me, I realize the risk we took allowing difficult child to shoot a bow and arrow or bb gun. And while difficult child's are a common thread here, I know weapons are not. I do appreciate the understanding of that, tho.</p><p>***</p><p>All weapons are locked up all the time, including wee difficult child's and easy child's. In the instances that difficult child 1 was really walking the line, we removed them all from the home and will do it again in a heartbeat if we feel its necessary. The kids have never had access to the guns or bows unless one of us get them out for them. husband, easy child 1, and I each have a keyring with all our keys on it, and the keys to these things are kept there. (I thougth we had a spare at home, but we do not)</p><p>***</p><p>I realize this is not removing all risk, but we've made a conscious decision that we aren't going to live in total fear all the time. We choose to keep the guns and make it as safe as possible. That's almost an oxymoron, isn't it? But that's what we've decided.</p><p>***</p><p>I realize it was also a risk letting him handle a bow and arrow or the bb gun, but we feel that it is safer that the kids, even difficult child, are exposed to the guns if they're going to be around them at all. It takes the mystery out of them if he would happen to find one lying around. </p><p>***</p><p>But difficult child will not be handling either of his weapons for a long time - the remainder of this year and possibly longer. When easy child 1 asked last year if he could get difficult child a bb gun for Christmas, my immediate reaction was not only "NO!" but "HE!! NO!!!". Then as we thought about it and talked about it, and the fact that he had never even so much as aimed his bow at a chicken in the 2 years he'd been shooting his bow, we decided that yes, he could, with the same ground rules as the bow had. When he does get to shoot again, he will now have to re-earn it. We've always been selective about when he's allowed to shoot and when he's not. If he's "off" when he asks, we've always told him no, and told him it was because he was not being safe. Its still not a 100&#37; safegaurd, but its what we've done. He's asked several times over the weekend about his bow, and we've not sugar coated it - he screwed up bigtime, he won't be shooting again until he shows us he can handle it (which has been explained), and its going to take a long time, but we're watching for him to show us. </p><p>***</p><p>He screwed up in an arena where there is no room for mistakes.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>PS - wee difficult child has been very accepting of his actions thus far. We will see how long that lasts - because this is not negotiable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 190100, member: 1848"] This is what is so upsetting about this. He was angry at easy child 2 for making him shut the door and he did this with intent. He wasn't playing around. Would he have actually released the arrow? I don't know. I would hope not, but I don't know. As I said, this opens a whole new door to me, because he took an actual weapon that can killl; a weapon he has seen used to kill; and aimed it at a person ON PURPOSE. He wasn't out of control; he wasn't raging; he walked 100 yards after the incident that made him angry (she made him close the house door), caught up to easy child 2, and did it. It wasnt even heat of the moment. (which is still not excusable, but I hope I'm conveying what I see the difference to be here...I'm not always good at explaining). *** Thank you all for the thoughts and support. Nothing said upsets me, I realize the risk we took allowing difficult child to shoot a bow and arrow or bb gun. And while difficult child's are a common thread here, I know weapons are not. I do appreciate the understanding of that, tho. *** All weapons are locked up all the time, including wee difficult child's and easy child's. In the instances that difficult child 1 was really walking the line, we removed them all from the home and will do it again in a heartbeat if we feel its necessary. The kids have never had access to the guns or bows unless one of us get them out for them. husband, easy child 1, and I each have a keyring with all our keys on it, and the keys to these things are kept there. (I thougth we had a spare at home, but we do not) *** I realize this is not removing all risk, but we've made a conscious decision that we aren't going to live in total fear all the time. We choose to keep the guns and make it as safe as possible. That's almost an oxymoron, isn't it? But that's what we've decided. *** I realize it was also a risk letting him handle a bow and arrow or the bb gun, but we feel that it is safer that the kids, even difficult child, are exposed to the guns if they're going to be around them at all. It takes the mystery out of them if he would happen to find one lying around. *** But difficult child will not be handling either of his weapons for a long time - the remainder of this year and possibly longer. When easy child 1 asked last year if he could get difficult child a bb gun for Christmas, my immediate reaction was not only "NO!" but "HE!! NO!!!". Then as we thought about it and talked about it, and the fact that he had never even so much as aimed his bow at a chicken in the 2 years he'd been shooting his bow, we decided that yes, he could, with the same ground rules as the bow had. When he does get to shoot again, he will now have to re-earn it. We've always been selective about when he's allowed to shoot and when he's not. If he's "off" when he asks, we've always told him no, and told him it was because he was not being safe. Its still not a 100% safegaurd, but its what we've done. He's asked several times over the weekend about his bow, and we've not sugar coated it - he screwed up bigtime, he won't be shooting again until he shows us he can handle it (which has been explained), and its going to take a long time, but we're watching for him to show us. *** He screwed up in an arena where there is no room for mistakes. *** PS - wee difficult child has been very accepting of his actions thus far. We will see how long that lasts - because this is not negotiable. [/QUOTE]
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