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Thoughts on detachment
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<blockquote data-quote="AHF" data-source="post: 408026" data-attributes="member: 11180"><p>These are very helpful posts. I also take a cue from a dear friend who lost her son, her only child, at the age of 31. He was an addict, living on the other coast, and he tended to call her in the wee hours with the latest crisis. So one night he called at 3 a.m. and she told him she was sleeping and he needed to call back in the morning. The next morning, he was dead from an overdose. This is an example of my worst fear, and I have known this mother as she worked her way through it. She mourns him still--some 10 years later--and says there is not a day when she does not think about him. But she is in a wonderful relationship; she has moved closer to family and friends; she gets involved with volunteer activities and life. She has been immensely helpful to me though of course (or maybe because) she has no solutions. And while she sometimes asks the "what if" question--what if she had stayed on the phone, that night?--I don't think she rakes herself over the coals about it. I'd like to achieve that kind of grace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AHF, post: 408026, member: 11180"] These are very helpful posts. I also take a cue from a dear friend who lost her son, her only child, at the age of 31. He was an addict, living on the other coast, and he tended to call her in the wee hours with the latest crisis. So one night he called at 3 a.m. and she told him she was sleeping and he needed to call back in the morning. The next morning, he was dead from an overdose. This is an example of my worst fear, and I have known this mother as she worked her way through it. She mourns him still--some 10 years later--and says there is not a day when she does not think about him. But she is in a wonderful relationship; she has moved closer to family and friends; she gets involved with volunteer activities and life. She has been immensely helpful to me though of course (or maybe because) she has no solutions. And while she sometimes asks the "what if" question--what if she had stayed on the phone, that night?--I don't think she rakes herself over the coals about it. I'd like to achieve that kind of grace. [/QUOTE]
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