Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Thoughts on detachment
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 408079" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>What a great post.</p><p></p><p>I keep thinking (and saying) that detachment sucks. But, really, it is a natural part of parenting. Even with a relatively peaceful child, you have to be able to love them, but allow them to live their own life. In the case of a not-so-peaceful child, that allowance is more difficult because we are aware of the harm it can cause.</p><p></p><p>I also think that it is different, even with different children. The idea stays the same, but the allowances might change. Like, I could loan one of my children $5, knowing they will pay it back. But my difficult child child, I could loan it to her, but chances are I'd never see it come back my way, and I know there is a good chance it will go to drugs.</p><p></p><p>Or Christmas each kid gets money from a grandparent. Each kid we allow to spend it on whatever they want, allowing them to learn from saving or spending. It's hard to watch the younger ones blow it on trivial things - but it is their choice. Sometimes they save it, and reap the rewards of that. It's even harder to watch my daughter walk out with that same amount of money, knowing what she will spend it on. It is detachment to be able to watch her go, have that knowledge, but <em>turn around and go on with my life</em>.</p><p></p><p>The more difficult the child, most likely the more difficult the detachment. It's pretty hard to know your kid is homeless on the streets with a heavy addiction, and you are helpless to do a dang thing about it. But you need to work, you need to function, and you might need to raise other kids and keep a marriage going, get food on the table. </p><p></p><p>I'm babbling. I think I'm just having a hard time right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 408079, member: 8620"] What a great post. I keep thinking (and saying) that detachment sucks. But, really, it is a natural part of parenting. Even with a relatively peaceful child, you have to be able to love them, but allow them to live their own life. In the case of a not-so-peaceful child, that allowance is more difficult because we are aware of the harm it can cause. I also think that it is different, even with different children. The idea stays the same, but the allowances might change. Like, I could loan one of my children $5, knowing they will pay it back. But my difficult child child, I could loan it to her, but chances are I'd never see it come back my way, and I know there is a good chance it will go to drugs. Or Christmas each kid gets money from a grandparent. Each kid we allow to spend it on whatever they want, allowing them to learn from saving or spending. It's hard to watch the younger ones blow it on trivial things - but it is their choice. Sometimes they save it, and reap the rewards of that. It's even harder to watch my daughter walk out with that same amount of money, knowing what she will spend it on. It is detachment to be able to watch her go, have that knowledge, but [I]turn around and go on with my life[/I]. The more difficult the child, most likely the more difficult the detachment. It's pretty hard to know your kid is homeless on the streets with a heavy addiction, and you are helpless to do a dang thing about it. But you need to work, you need to function, and you might need to raise other kids and keep a marriage going, get food on the table. I'm babbling. I think I'm just having a hard time right now. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Thoughts on detachment
Top