I forgot to add that when my husband is home, sometimes his (my husband's) behavior is explosive, just a loose cannon. You never know when it will go off. Something that has happened the same way 30 times and was fine is all of a sudden the end of the world and something gets broken or hit or thrown. I feel like I walk around the house trying to make things as easy as possible for him to avoid another outburst. Not a week after my husband deployed, there was a noticeable difference in my son's behavior, even other people have noticed and commented. On occasion I am so stressed trying to keep it all together that I have 2-3 menstrual cycles a month. After several EMDR sessions for myself, I have come to the conclusion that enough is enough and that I have to demand that when he gets back that something change or I will need to leave. That's just easier said than done.