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I forgot to add that when my husband is home, sometimes his (my husband's) behavior is explosive, just a loose cannon.  You never know when it will go off.  Something that has happened the same way 30 times and was fine is all of a sudden the end of the world and something gets broken or hit or thrown.  I feel like I walk around the house trying to make things as easy as possible for him to avoid another outburst.  Not a week after my husband deployed, there was a noticeable difference in my son's behavior, even other people have noticed and commented.  On occasion I am so stressed trying to keep it all together that I have 2-3 menstrual cycles a month.  After several EMDR sessions for myself, I have come to the conclusion that enough is enough and that I have to demand that when he gets back that something change or I will need to leave.  That's just easier said than done.


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