Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Three years since we’ve seen her
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="LeaMac" data-source="post: 759069" data-attributes="member: 22385"><p>I appreciate you sharing your thoughts- this is such a lonely position to be in. We have such similar stories, and my daughter is also adopted. You named one of my big fears about seeing her- that it would make me feel terrible and change nothing about her situation. </p><p></p><p>I wonder how I will know when/if she has truly turned things around. Two years ago this fall, she sent a long email saying she wanted us to have a better relationship, meet for lunch, she wanted to be allowed to visit us. I told her we would like that. About two weeks later, before we had acted on that, I had a call from Children and Youth. They asked if I knew that my daughter had given birth over the weekend, and that the child was in their custody. ( We hadnt even known she was pregnant - she didn’t mention that in the email.) </p><p></p><p>Maybe she did genuinely want to renew our relationship, but for what reason? And certainly her life was not back on track - pregnant, still using, unemployed. </p><p></p><p>Your Thanksgiving situation sounds like things our daughter did before we realized she was using. We chalked it up to the bipolar, cautioned her to stay on her medications, etc. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I think about renting an apartment for her, or buying her a trailer, but I have read on this site that that can simply enable continued drug use. And, like you said about your son, she isn’t responsible enough to take care of an apartment or residence. After her first stint in rehab, after she got a job, we helped her get back on her feet by paying rent on a room for the first three months, with the expectation, of course, that she would then take that on. She left the place abruptly after only two months and moved in with a freind (another situation that didn’t last). The landlady called me to say the dresser in the room was ruined and the room was trashed. We paid her for the repairs. </p><p></p><p>And on it goes. The last I heard from her, about three weeks ago, she is on probation for criminal trespass. And of course, could we just send her $250? She needed it by midnight. A year ago we would have sent it, hoping desperately that it was paying for food or rent or heat. But this time, we hardened our hearts and blocked our phones. </p><p></p><p>I wish you luck with your son, and hope he turns things around. Thanks again for the advice. As you know, it helps so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LeaMac, post: 759069, member: 22385"] I appreciate you sharing your thoughts- this is such a lonely position to be in. We have such similar stories, and my daughter is also adopted. You named one of my big fears about seeing her- that it would make me feel terrible and change nothing about her situation. I wonder how I will know when/if she has truly turned things around. Two years ago this fall, she sent a long email saying she wanted us to have a better relationship, meet for lunch, she wanted to be allowed to visit us. I told her we would like that. About two weeks later, before we had acted on that, I had a call from Children and Youth. They asked if I knew that my daughter had given birth over the weekend, and that the child was in their custody. ( We hadnt even known she was pregnant - she didn’t mention that in the email.) Maybe she did genuinely want to renew our relationship, but for what reason? And certainly her life was not back on track - pregnant, still using, unemployed. Your Thanksgiving situation sounds like things our daughter did before we realized she was using. We chalked it up to the bipolar, cautioned her to stay on her medications, etc. Sometimes I think about renting an apartment for her, or buying her a trailer, but I have read on this site that that can simply enable continued drug use. And, like you said about your son, she isn’t responsible enough to take care of an apartment or residence. After her first stint in rehab, after she got a job, we helped her get back on her feet by paying rent on a room for the first three months, with the expectation, of course, that she would then take that on. She left the place abruptly after only two months and moved in with a freind (another situation that didn’t last). The landlady called me to say the dresser in the room was ruined and the room was trashed. We paid her for the repairs. And on it goes. The last I heard from her, about three weeks ago, she is on probation for criminal trespass. And of course, could we just send her $250? She needed it by midnight. A year ago we would have sent it, hoping desperately that it was paying for food or rent or heat. But this time, we hardened our hearts and blocked our phones. I wish you luck with your son, and hope he turns things around. Thanks again for the advice. As you know, it helps so much. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Three years since we’ve seen her
Top