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Substance Abuse
Three years since we’ve seen her
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759195" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am in the same place as the rest of you. Boundaries are the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost it too, about 2.5 years ago. I can't write it here, what happened, but I dissociated. The ongoing stress for year after year had been too much. My son pushed his way in through my back door, and it was so triggering, I lost connection to reality until M spoke to me. It was at that point that I had to change. I realized that my life had value too. I had to consider myself. And I did. And I realized I had not helped my son tolerating so much.</p><p></p><p>I have the same ongoing problems with using my address. Because with that, he puts responsibility onto me, that should be his.</p><p></p><p>I don't see room for guilt from what you describe. She forced you into this defensive position by her relentless predatory and abusive and criminal behavior. What kind of decent parent would allow their child to repeatedly prey on them? You can't. You did the only loving and responsible thing, as I see it.</p><p></p><p>My adopted son is mentally ill, on SSI. Covid is rampant in my state. He will be without a place to live in a week. I am weakening. I have told him he needs to find a place to live; that there is a curfew and no place to go inside like fast food or restaurants or any other place to get in out of the cold. And I believe they are picking up homeless people. I am not even sure that shelters are open. I don't think this is the time for me to be rigid. But I am afraid just like the rest of you. My son never ever lied. Now he lies to me like a rug. He asked to come on Thanksgiving, and it was planned that he arrive on Wednesday nite. At 930, I called. <em>J, are you here?</em> He changed his mind and didn't bother to call and to let me know.</p><p></p><p>What I am trying to say here is that there is no right thing to do. Not 100 percent. To my way of thinking you are doing the right thing by her and for yourselves. But in your heart you feel wrong. All of us so feel for you. And understand 1000 percent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759195, member: 18958"] I am in the same place as the rest of you. Boundaries are the best thing that ever happened to me. I lost it too, about 2.5 years ago. I can't write it here, what happened, but I dissociated. The ongoing stress for year after year had been too much. My son pushed his way in through my back door, and it was so triggering, I lost connection to reality until M spoke to me. It was at that point that I had to change. I realized that my life had value too. I had to consider myself. And I did. And I realized I had not helped my son tolerating so much. I have the same ongoing problems with using my address. Because with that, he puts responsibility onto me, that should be his. I don't see room for guilt from what you describe. She forced you into this defensive position by her relentless predatory and abusive and criminal behavior. What kind of decent parent would allow their child to repeatedly prey on them? You can't. You did the only loving and responsible thing, as I see it. My adopted son is mentally ill, on SSI. Covid is rampant in my state. He will be without a place to live in a week. I am weakening. I have told him he needs to find a place to live; that there is a curfew and no place to go inside like fast food or restaurants or any other place to get in out of the cold. And I believe they are picking up homeless people. I am not even sure that shelters are open. I don't think this is the time for me to be rigid. But I am afraid just like the rest of you. My son never ever lied. Now he lies to me like a rug. He asked to come on Thanksgiving, and it was planned that he arrive on Wednesday nite. At 930, I called. [I]J, are you here?[/I] He changed his mind and didn't bother to call and to let me know. What I am trying to say here is that there is no right thing to do. Not 100 percent. To my way of thinking you are doing the right thing by her and for yourselves. But in your heart you feel wrong. All of us so feel for you. And understand 1000 percent. [/QUOTE]
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Three years since we’ve seen her
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