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tired of being abused
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 171715" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>You know amaze, I was empathizing with your situation and wishing I had more advice. Then I wondered. How much impact do you think g-dad is having on all of this? If your boys see gpa modeling verbally abusive, degrading behavior towards you - then they are bound to follow suit. I know money is horribly tight, and that you have made some amazing steps with Al-Anon, etc. - but have you thought about trying to move out some more?</p><p></p><p>On an interesting similar note - my difficult child used to be the <em>worst</em> at tearing me apart verbally. Then H. died. I am not sure if it was him seeing me rocked to my core in grief, or the fact that I too could die - but there was an entire paradigm shift in his treatment towards me. I cannot explain it in any other way other than I think, for once, he saw me differently. He saw me as whole, vulnerable, but not as his Mom. </p><p></p><p>Just wonder if getting a paradigm shift for your boys, where they see you as a person struggling to get the soup on the table every day - and sorry thats all we have - would be a reality catalyst for them. Just a thought.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 171715, member: 3301"] You know amaze, I was empathizing with your situation and wishing I had more advice. Then I wondered. How much impact do you think g-dad is having on all of this? If your boys see gpa modeling verbally abusive, degrading behavior towards you - then they are bound to follow suit. I know money is horribly tight, and that you have made some amazing steps with Al-Anon, etc. - but have you thought about trying to move out some more? On an interesting similar note - my difficult child used to be the [I]worst[/I] at tearing me apart verbally. Then H. died. I am not sure if it was him seeing me rocked to my core in grief, or the fact that I too could die - but there was an entire paradigm shift in his treatment towards me. I cannot explain it in any other way other than I think, for once, he saw me differently. He saw me as whole, vulnerable, but not as his Mom. Just wonder if getting a paradigm shift for your boys, where they see you as a person struggling to get the soup on the table every day - and sorry thats all we have - would be a reality catalyst for them. Just a thought. [/QUOTE]
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