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Tired of dragging my kid to the car
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<blockquote data-quote="Lulu" data-source="post: 130543" data-attributes="member: 4493"><p>G&T, thanks for your thoughts. At different times, I have taken away every privilege imaginable, occasionally to the point of just wanting to laugh at how empty his life is (those are the days when there is nothing left to do but sit together in the car and wait until he deigns to stop fiddling with the locks, the overhead lights, the cargo cover, the cup holder, etc, and finally sits down and buckles up--makes me feel so helpless and so sorry that A has to watch and learn from this, as she has tried it herself several times now). Instead of his being horrified, crying, saying NO NO NO! don't take my computer!, he just smiles. He always smiles through all of this misbehavior. No loss of privileges seems to make a difference for him. And it is so tiring to handle him with no diversions available the rest of the day. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>I do give him (and A) praise when they have behaved well in an outing. I also praised N the day he came to the car willingly and with-o incident. But the next day, as I said, he was back to square one.</p><p></p><p>SRL, am just reading your response as I look over a preview of mine! I would like to give him food "on-the-go" as we walk down the hall, but I am paranoid of him walking with a lolly in his mouth. Is this an unfounded fear? It is a good idea, and I will definitely consider the juice box. Will try it Monday, in fact.</p><p></p><p>Regarding the AS-sounding stuff, it is not so much that he is actually distracted by things he sees in the hall, rather, his behaviors feel calculated to me. He knows they will upset us all, even though I don't yell at him. It is as though he is working toward some sort of reward of being carried to the car where he can crouch in the foot until he feels the time is right to submit. However, I understand that he is likely tired at this time, that he doesn't want to leave the preschool toys, that he may be hungry, and that transitions are, in general, tough for him. So some talk/modeling about frustration and tiredness may be in order. [eta: what I was trying to say was that he knows what is expected and appropriate, and we always have talks about how we act before we go into libraries, restaurants, stores, etc. Come to think of it, we never have that talk about leaving preschool, but when I pick him up, he's generally not into having ANY talk at all.]</p><p></p><p>I will look into the social stories and model-me links. Thank you for your info and wisdom!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lulu, post: 130543, member: 4493"] G&T, thanks for your thoughts. At different times, I have taken away every privilege imaginable, occasionally to the point of just wanting to laugh at how empty his life is (those are the days when there is nothing left to do but sit together in the car and wait until he deigns to stop fiddling with the locks, the overhead lights, the cargo cover, the cup holder, etc, and finally sits down and buckles up--makes me feel so helpless and so sorry that A has to watch and learn from this, as she has tried it herself several times now). Instead of his being horrified, crying, saying NO NO NO! don't take my computer!, he just smiles. He always smiles through all of this misbehavior. No loss of privileges seems to make a difference for him. And it is so tiring to handle him with no diversions available the rest of the day. Sigh. I do give him (and A) praise when they have behaved well in an outing. I also praised N the day he came to the car willingly and with-o incident. But the next day, as I said, he was back to square one. SRL, am just reading your response as I look over a preview of mine! I would like to give him food "on-the-go" as we walk down the hall, but I am paranoid of him walking with a lolly in his mouth. Is this an unfounded fear? It is a good idea, and I will definitely consider the juice box. Will try it Monday, in fact. Regarding the AS-sounding stuff, it is not so much that he is actually distracted by things he sees in the hall, rather, his behaviors feel calculated to me. He knows they will upset us all, even though I don't yell at him. It is as though he is working toward some sort of reward of being carried to the car where he can crouch in the foot until he feels the time is right to submit. However, I understand that he is likely tired at this time, that he doesn't want to leave the preschool toys, that he may be hungry, and that transitions are, in general, tough for him. So some talk/modeling about frustration and tiredness may be in order. [eta: what I was trying to say was that he knows what is expected and appropriate, and we always have talks about how we act before we go into libraries, restaurants, stores, etc. Come to think of it, we never have that talk about leaving preschool, but when I pick him up, he's generally not into having ANY talk at all.] I will look into the social stories and model-me links. Thank you for your info and wisdom! [/QUOTE]
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