Lori, ODD rarely stands alone. It is frequently a set of behaviors with an underlying cause. When the underlying cause is identified and treated, the ODD behaviors generally subside.
The hallmark symtoms of ADHD -- inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity -- can be part of other disorders (including mood issues and Autistic Spectrum Disorder) so it's wise to rule out those other disorders before you (or the counselor) automatically assume it's ADHD. Some of the behaviors you're describing may very well go beyond ADHD. It sounds as if your difficult child has a lot of anxiety. Excessive or senseless worrying, talking excessively, problems with separation and a strong tendency to get locked into negative thoughts or having repetative thoughts are all consistent with various forms of anxiety. And anxiety can be part of many disorders, including but not limited to Depression, Bipolar Disorder and Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Anxiety can be co-morbid with ADHD, but it is not generally a hallmark symptom the way it is with the other disorders I mentioned.
I would strongly recommend a thorough evaluation with a neuropsychologist or a multidisciplinary team at a children's or university teaching hospital. This type of evaluation will yield the best chance at an accurate diagnosis. Only with an accurate diagnosis will you be able to put the proper interventions into place to help your difficult child.
Good luck.
