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General Parenting
To cuddle or not to cuddle (after a rage)??
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 519246" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I was a child who raged and threw things. A rage attack, as I called them, used to scare me a lot. It was anger out of control that I couldn't stop or control, and I don't believe rages in kids are deliberate, regardless of what started them. After a rage I would sit in my room and want to kill myself, thinking how evil I was, and I promised myself I would never do it again. Only I knew I would because "it" controlled me, not the other way around. So I thought I was crazy. After leaving me alone to collect myself, my mom would eventually come to my room, talk softly to me and hug me. It made me cry and swear I would never do it again (and I wanted to mean it). The hug was very helpful since I was feeling ready to slash my wrists. </p><p></p><p>Kids prone to rages will either outgrow them or get diagnosed with some sort of disorder or mental illness or personality disorder. It is not normal manipulative behavior. Due to my own experiences, I would not punish a child for raging. Yes, a trigger is often being told you can't do something or you have to do something so it seems dramatic and deliberate, but once my rage-buttons were pushed, they were impossible for me to rein in. I don't think you discipline away rages. Sometimes they get better on their own (Sonic stopped raging.) I think kids understand they behaved inappropriately and may even be frightened. I'm in favor of kindness after a rage, and not taking them personally. </p><p></p><p>JMO</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 519246, member: 1550"] I was a child who raged and threw things. A rage attack, as I called them, used to scare me a lot. It was anger out of control that I couldn't stop or control, and I don't believe rages in kids are deliberate, regardless of what started them. After a rage I would sit in my room and want to kill myself, thinking how evil I was, and I promised myself I would never do it again. Only I knew I would because "it" controlled me, not the other way around. So I thought I was crazy. After leaving me alone to collect myself, my mom would eventually come to my room, talk softly to me and hug me. It made me cry and swear I would never do it again (and I wanted to mean it). The hug was very helpful since I was feeling ready to slash my wrists. Kids prone to rages will either outgrow them or get diagnosed with some sort of disorder or mental illness or personality disorder. It is not normal manipulative behavior. Due to my own experiences, I would not punish a child for raging. Yes, a trigger is often being told you can't do something or you have to do something so it seems dramatic and deliberate, but once my rage-buttons were pushed, they were impossible for me to rein in. I don't think you discipline away rages. Sometimes they get better on their own (Sonic stopped raging.) I think kids understand they behaved inappropriately and may even be frightened. I'm in favor of kindness after a rage, and not taking them personally. JMO [/QUOTE]
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To cuddle or not to cuddle (after a rage)??
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