Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
To cuddle or not to cuddle (after a rage)??
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 519310" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree Tae Doe. This is not willful misbehavior. It is intrinsic lack of normal control. And, yes, it normally would cause depression afterward. Often very deep depression. A rage is not a personal attack against the parent, although horrible things are often said during rages and regretted afterward. To punish a disabled child for uncontrollable behavior is in my opinion cruel. At the very least, the raging will not stop anyway and the child can decide he is "no good" or "crazy" or "evil" or all the things I used to think I was. It can lead to suicidal thinking.</p><p></p><p>The last thing a raging child needs is to be rejected afterward. Any parent that takes t he rage personally may be helped by a therapist. Raging is not how a normal child expresses displeasure. There are many kids who never throw a tantrum in their lives and others who do it only during one stage. If it continues, you don't have a monster, you have a problem on your hands...and the child needs correct diagnosing and treatment. </p><p></p><p>When a child feels "no good" he is more apt to do unacceptable things. I would think "Well, I'm bad and crazy anyway so might as well just tear up my stupid homework." And then I'd do it while telling myself, "It's probably done wrong and I'll get an "F" anyway." in my opinion there is nothing good to come of punishing a rage. in my opinion it will only lead to even more bad behavior and the child hating himself (and sometimes you too). Then, if the anger is too strong, you will NEVER be able to reach him/her, especially not when you are in "you are a brat/monster/bad" mode. Again JMO, but it is based on actual experience. I would have an all out rage that would keep my siblings up all night about once a month. I have been diagnosed with a severe mood disorder and borderline personality disorder. </p><p></p><p>My parents weren't the best, but my mom understood that I could not control my rages. She was good about them. If she hadn't been, I think I would have gone criminal and druggie. At least her understanding of my rages kept me from breaking the law...I did not TOTALLY think I was a terrible person, and that helped a bit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 519310, member: 1550"] I agree Tae Doe. This is not willful misbehavior. It is intrinsic lack of normal control. And, yes, it normally would cause depression afterward. Often very deep depression. A rage is not a personal attack against the parent, although horrible things are often said during rages and regretted afterward. To punish a disabled child for uncontrollable behavior is in my opinion cruel. At the very least, the raging will not stop anyway and the child can decide he is "no good" or "crazy" or "evil" or all the things I used to think I was. It can lead to suicidal thinking. The last thing a raging child needs is to be rejected afterward. Any parent that takes t he rage personally may be helped by a therapist. Raging is not how a normal child expresses displeasure. There are many kids who never throw a tantrum in their lives and others who do it only during one stage. If it continues, you don't have a monster, you have a problem on your hands...and the child needs correct diagnosing and treatment. When a child feels "no good" he is more apt to do unacceptable things. I would think "Well, I'm bad and crazy anyway so might as well just tear up my stupid homework." And then I'd do it while telling myself, "It's probably done wrong and I'll get an "F" anyway." in my opinion there is nothing good to come of punishing a rage. in my opinion it will only lead to even more bad behavior and the child hating himself (and sometimes you too). Then, if the anger is too strong, you will NEVER be able to reach him/her, especially not when you are in "you are a brat/monster/bad" mode. Again JMO, but it is based on actual experience. I would have an all out rage that would keep my siblings up all night about once a month. I have been diagnosed with a severe mood disorder and borderline personality disorder. My parents weren't the best, but my mom understood that I could not control my rages. She was good about them. If she hadn't been, I think I would have gone criminal and druggie. At least her understanding of my rages kept me from breaking the law...I did not TOTALLY think I was a terrible person, and that helped a bit. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
To cuddle or not to cuddle (after a rage)??
Top