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To Each Their Own "Stuff"
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 658355" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I am so glad to hear this. </p><p></p><p>In particular, a key part of what you wrote is this (to me): You are continuing to work on yourself regardless of his progress. You are putting yourself and your life first. You are staying on "your side of the street." You are respecting him and his boundaries.</p><p></p><p>What an accomplishment! What progress. It is so amazing that when we start better understanding who we are and who they are and how we are not the "same person" and their lives are their responsibility and our lives are our responsibility...that things continue to improve.</p><p></p><p>Not perfection. Not hearts and roses. Not a Cinderella story. </p><p></p><p>But real people, living real, messy, chaotic, wonderful, tough lives.</p><p></p><p>It is amazing to experience. And it's as much about us as it is about them. </p><p></p><p>What I have seen on this board and in my own experience is that when we start to realize that it IS as much about how <strong>we </strong>grow and change, as it is how <strong>they </strong>grow and change, then everything starts to get better. As long as we are sitting and waiting on "them to change," over-focusing on their lives, trying to control, manage, fix and "help" them, little may change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 658355, member: 17542"] I am so glad to hear this. In particular, a key part of what you wrote is this (to me): You are continuing to work on yourself regardless of his progress. You are putting yourself and your life first. You are staying on "your side of the street." You are respecting him and his boundaries. What an accomplishment! What progress. It is so amazing that when we start better understanding who we are and who they are and how we are not the "same person" and their lives are their responsibility and our lives are our responsibility...that things continue to improve. Not perfection. Not hearts and roses. Not a Cinderella story. But real people, living real, messy, chaotic, wonderful, tough lives. It is amazing to experience. And it's as much about us as it is about them. What I have seen on this board and in my own experience is that when we start to realize that it IS as much about how [B]we [/B]grow and change, as it is how [B]they [/B]grow and change, then everything starts to get better. As long as we are sitting and waiting on "them to change," over-focusing on their lives, trying to control, manage, fix and "help" them, little may change. [/QUOTE]
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