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General Parenting
To other adopted difficult child parents(bit long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 498787" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I don't have any experience with autism but we adopted our difficult child at birth and were very open about it from the beginning. Everyone knew we adopted, family, friends, neighbors, church people. I didn't make an announcement but people who knew us knew I wasn't pregnant and there was no reason to hide it. Since we were very open with it with difficult child it was also important that we be open with everyone sothat she didn't feel that it was a secret or something she had to hide.</p><p></p><p>I knew that this openness could present some problems through the years and it did when she was being her difficult child self and used it to try to make people feel sorry for her. She wwas full of drama at times and liked to tell people we were mean and she wanted to find her birthmother.</p><p></p><p>We made sure we used all the adoption terms that the adoption experts suggest. Always used birthmother and birthfather, and never said she was "given up for adoption" but rather that her birthmother made an adoption and that her birthmother could not take care of a baby at that point in her life and loved her very much to make this plan.</p><p></p><p>Yes sometimes kids can be cruel but honestly I never saw that in regards to my difficult child's adoption. Also there are many other families that come together through adoption and you will find that true as the years go on. In my difficult child's elementary class of 100 kids alone there were over 10 kids that I knew were adopted. That's a lot. I'm sure in her high school class there were many more, and we live in a small community.</p><p></p><p>I always felt it was importnt for difficult child's teachers to know she was adopted just in case something came up about it.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 498787, member: 59"] I don't have any experience with autism but we adopted our difficult child at birth and were very open about it from the beginning. Everyone knew we adopted, family, friends, neighbors, church people. I didn't make an announcement but people who knew us knew I wasn't pregnant and there was no reason to hide it. Since we were very open with it with difficult child it was also important that we be open with everyone sothat she didn't feel that it was a secret or something she had to hide. I knew that this openness could present some problems through the years and it did when she was being her difficult child self and used it to try to make people feel sorry for her. She wwas full of drama at times and liked to tell people we were mean and she wanted to find her birthmother. We made sure we used all the adoption terms that the adoption experts suggest. Always used birthmother and birthfather, and never said she was "given up for adoption" but rather that her birthmother made an adoption and that her birthmother could not take care of a baby at that point in her life and loved her very much to make this plan. Yes sometimes kids can be cruel but honestly I never saw that in regards to my difficult child's adoption. Also there are many other families that come together through adoption and you will find that true as the years go on. In my difficult child's elementary class of 100 kids alone there were over 10 kids that I knew were adopted. That's a lot. I'm sure in her high school class there were many more, and we live in a small community. I always felt it was importnt for difficult child's teachers to know she was adopted just in case something came up about it. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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