Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
To other adopted difficult child parents(bit long)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 498791" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Lovelyboy, I agree, it is a different question to say how do we teach our Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids about personal boundaries and not make it seem like keeping secrets or needing to be shameful. I think Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids can tend to not talk about anything even under appropriate times or to be open books and have no sense of privacy. </p><p></p><p>I would talk about that inside feeling, help to teach about if something feels uncomfortable or not. How to pay attention to those little feelings. (kind of like the "thought bubble" ideas of not needing to share every thought that comes into your bubble with everyone outside of your bubble). Do you do personal social stories? Maybe that can help them learn words that they can choose from. Make it clear they have every right to say their story but that it is not needed or required just because someone asks.</p><p></p><p>I got a little pang in my tummy last year when Q said I was not his real mother. Funny thing is it was really those around him, his friends and two adopted adults who said, OH DUDE, this IS your real mom. She is the one who takes care of you every day and THAT is what a mom is. You do have a special birth mom but she is not your REAL mom. Personally, I think as MWM says... real to them just means birth. I think REAL means something to us. As they grow they kind of can get those more subtle differences. Funny thing is as much as Q knows his story (and these days looking different doesn't mean adoption but many assume this... my sister's two bio kids both look different from her and eachother as one has a dad who is African American and one has a dad whose family came from Japan and has had generations in Hawaii. One Black kid and one Asian kid and both her bio kids. LOL. She gets more adoption questions than I do with my one Hisp/AA kid!) Anyway, funny thing is that he still forgets he did not grow in my tummy and will ask me questions about when I was pregnant with him at times. Sometimes he catches himself but I think he really does not consistently think about not coming from me and my not knowing him forever. (until he is mad as someone else mentioned, lol)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 498791, member: 12886"] Lovelyboy, I agree, it is a different question to say how do we teach our Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids about personal boundaries and not make it seem like keeping secrets or needing to be shameful. I think Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids can tend to not talk about anything even under appropriate times or to be open books and have no sense of privacy. I would talk about that inside feeling, help to teach about if something feels uncomfortable or not. How to pay attention to those little feelings. (kind of like the "thought bubble" ideas of not needing to share every thought that comes into your bubble with everyone outside of your bubble). Do you do personal social stories? Maybe that can help them learn words that they can choose from. Make it clear they have every right to say their story but that it is not needed or required just because someone asks. I got a little pang in my tummy last year when Q said I was not his real mother. Funny thing is it was really those around him, his friends and two adopted adults who said, OH DUDE, this IS your real mom. She is the one who takes care of you every day and THAT is what a mom is. You do have a special birth mom but she is not your REAL mom. Personally, I think as MWM says... real to them just means birth. I think REAL means something to us. As they grow they kind of can get those more subtle differences. Funny thing is as much as Q knows his story (and these days looking different doesn't mean adoption but many assume this... my sister's two bio kids both look different from her and eachother as one has a dad who is African American and one has a dad whose family came from Japan and has had generations in Hawaii. One Black kid and one Asian kid and both her bio kids. LOL. She gets more adoption questions than I do with my one Hisp/AA kid!) Anyway, funny thing is that he still forgets he did not grow in my tummy and will ask me questions about when I was pregnant with him at times. Sometimes he catches himself but I think he really does not consistently think about not coming from me and my not knowing him forever. (until he is mad as someone else mentioned, lol) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
To other adopted difficult child parents(bit long)
Top