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To Tell the Truth
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 644439" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I think she wants her life back. I think she is angry that her children were taken from her. I know she feels badly for herself about the things she has lost or the things she has been through <em>and this is a piece of the change that happens in her when she is not thinking right.</em> Self pity or justification is unusual for either of my children. They are willing pretty much to say what they did and say what they want and hate us right out in the open if we don't do it, but they tend not to do wheedling or self pity.</p><p></p><p>Does she want the kids.</p><p></p><p>Not when she is like this.</p><p></p><p>When she is like this, she does not see the kids.</p><p></p><p>When she is herself, there is no better mother. </p><p></p><p>Or daughter, really.</p><p></p><p>When she is like this...when she is like this she should not have the kids and she should be able to see that herself and that is what I am going to tell her.</p><p></p><p>That if she needs to get away, then she should go.</p><p></p><p>Without the kids.</p><p></p><p>And that isn't going to work, either.</p><p></p><p>What I did tell her is that, especially in one on one relationships, we all have those times when one of us says something the other cannot forgive and things escalate from there. I told her to talk to her husband.</p><p></p><p>I don't know the dynamic there except I do.</p><p></p><p>I don't know the abuser there. Except of course I do.</p><p></p><p>I think I do.</p><p></p><p>It's a pattern.</p><p></p><p>I am sure.</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 644439, member: 17461"] I think she wants her life back. I think she is angry that her children were taken from her. I know she feels badly for herself about the things she has lost or the things she has been through [I]and this is a piece of the change that happens in her when she is not thinking right.[/I] Self pity or justification is unusual for either of my children. They are willing pretty much to say what they did and say what they want and hate us right out in the open if we don't do it, but they tend not to do wheedling or self pity. Does she want the kids. Not when she is like this. When she is like this, she does not see the kids. When she is herself, there is no better mother. Or daughter, really. When she is like this...when she is like this she should not have the kids and she should be able to see that herself and that is what I am going to tell her. That if she needs to get away, then she should go. Without the kids. And that isn't going to work, either. What I did tell her is that, especially in one on one relationships, we all have those times when one of us says something the other cannot forgive and things escalate from there. I told her to talk to her husband. I don't know the dynamic there except I do. I don't know the abuser there. Except of course I do. I think I do. It's a pattern. I am sure. Ew. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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