Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
To young to raise a teen, help!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 697310" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hollie, talk to your counselor about your feelings. You are not a bad person just because you set boundaries for a child under your care. </p><p></p><p>I had to learn how to parent because, like you, I was not parented in a healthy way, so how would I know how to do it? How would you know how to do it? And, teenagers often do the "I hate you" thing, it's their job to balk at all rules and it's your job to make the rules and not listen to the "hate" comments. If he knows he can get his way by saying that and making you feel bad about yourself, he's going to do that! Not because he doesn't love you, because all his hormones are amping up in his life and he needs to assert himself, it's a natural thing for teenagers to do. Don't take it personally, it isn't about you, it's about providing him with a safe structure where he knows the rules......kids feel much safer when they have rules. I had to learn that too. </p><p></p><p>And, real life isn't skate boarding all the time, he needs to study, do chores, listen to you. He is likely going to really balk about seeing his Dad, but getting him used to seeing his Dad will be helpful in the long run. Perhaps setting up a schedule where he sees his Dad every other weekend, or something like that until you all figure out the next step. Your counselor can help you out with that too. </p><p></p><p>I't's hard for those of us who weren't parented correctly to know how to set boundaries. I had to learn how to do that too. You might want to read a book called Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie, it helped me. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting Hollie. We're here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 697310, member: 13542"] Hollie, talk to your counselor about your feelings. You are not a bad person just because you set boundaries for a child under your care. I had to learn how to parent because, like you, I was not parented in a healthy way, so how would I know how to do it? How would you know how to do it? And, teenagers often do the "I hate you" thing, it's their job to balk at all rules and it's your job to make the rules and not listen to the "hate" comments. If he knows he can get his way by saying that and making you feel bad about yourself, he's going to do that! Not because he doesn't love you, because all his hormones are amping up in his life and he needs to assert himself, it's a natural thing for teenagers to do. Don't take it personally, it isn't about you, it's about providing him with a safe structure where he knows the rules......kids feel much safer when they have rules. I had to learn that too. And, real life isn't skate boarding all the time, he needs to study, do chores, listen to you. He is likely going to really balk about seeing his Dad, but getting him used to seeing his Dad will be helpful in the long run. Perhaps setting up a schedule where he sees his Dad every other weekend, or something like that until you all figure out the next step. Your counselor can help you out with that too. I't's hard for those of us who weren't parented correctly to know how to set boundaries. I had to learn how to do that too. You might want to read a book called Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie, it helped me. Keep posting Hollie. We're here for you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
To young to raise a teen, help!!
Top