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Parent Emeritus
Today was hard for me, but maybe I make it hard on myself
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 639729" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Wakeupcall, I too am sorry you are going through this with your daughter, it is a sad situation. You made a choice for you and unfortunately your daughter is punishing you for that choice, which is as MWM said, not fair, nor right, nor appropriate.........but it is what it is. </p><p></p><p>We can't control another, all we can do is respond to what it is they do. My suggestion is for you to find whatever way you can to move beyond this, to not allow this to ruin your life, your moments, your days, your relationship with your new husband. We are in our 60's now, there just isn't any more time to allow the actions of others to disrupt our lives or our peace, we can't change them, but we can move on.</p><p></p><p>You may need some professional help to get through this, it is not easy, it will take a real commitment from you and a real intention to change, but you can do it. Your daughter may never change, or she may, but really, can you wait around suffering, ruining your own life about something you have absolutely no control over? It appears you've already done everything you can do. Much of life is about letting go, letting go of all that we have no control over. Does it hurt? Hell yeah. Can you do anything about it? No. So, the only sane choice is to learn how to let go, to learn how to realize you don't have to suffer endlessly over the choices of another, YOU have a choice. Choose life. Choose to let go.</p><p></p><p>There are many tools to assist you, therapy, meditation, yoga, mindful things to relax your mind and unhinge the continuous flow of unhappiness and trying to change a situation that you can't change. What is happening is what is, arguing with what is, is what causes suffering..........you are powerless in the face of your daughter's choices.........find support to shift your response, to let go and focus on <em>your</em> life now, on your relationship with your new husband, on the time in our lives when we can have a certain amount of freedom to find our own passions and interests and joy............. you deserve that, don't allow your daughter's responses take that away from you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 639729, member: 13542"] Wakeupcall, I too am sorry you are going through this with your daughter, it is a sad situation. You made a choice for you and unfortunately your daughter is punishing you for that choice, which is as MWM said, not fair, nor right, nor appropriate.........but it is what it is. We can't control another, all we can do is respond to what it is they do. My suggestion is for you to find whatever way you can to move beyond this, to not allow this to ruin your life, your moments, your days, your relationship with your new husband. We are in our 60's now, there just isn't any more time to allow the actions of others to disrupt our lives or our peace, we can't change them, but we can move on. You may need some professional help to get through this, it is not easy, it will take a real commitment from you and a real intention to change, but you can do it. Your daughter may never change, or she may, but really, can you wait around suffering, ruining your own life about something you have absolutely no control over? It appears you've already done everything you can do. Much of life is about letting go, letting go of all that we have no control over. Does it hurt? Hell yeah. Can you do anything about it? No. So, the only sane choice is to learn how to let go, to learn how to realize you don't have to suffer endlessly over the choices of another, YOU have a choice. Choose life. Choose to let go. There are many tools to assist you, therapy, meditation, yoga, mindful things to relax your mind and unhinge the continuous flow of unhappiness and trying to change a situation that you can't change. What is happening is what is, arguing with what is, is what causes suffering..........you are powerless in the face of your daughter's choices.........find support to shift your response, to let go and focus on [I]your[/I] life now, on your relationship with your new husband, on the time in our lives when we can have a certain amount of freedom to find our own passions and interests and joy............. you deserve that, don't allow your daughter's responses take that away from you. [/QUOTE]
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