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<blockquote data-quote="house of cards" data-source="post: 228589" data-attributes="member: 2005"><p>I am also guilty of taking The Explosive Child and using basket 3 too much. I bought the next book he put out and it tries to correct this common problem by putting alot more information on the basket 2-negotiation part. </p><p></p><p>I'm not so hot with basket B, but that is where the difficult child gains their self control and improved behavior. I might be way out of line here but you seem tired, worn out, but a very good and wise mom, so I hope you don't start in deeper then a level you can maintain. It wouldn't help at all if you just shake things up for a month and then slide back to the usual so I hope you make changes you will feel comfortable living with, baby steps if needed. </p><p></p><p>Does Tink read?? I like the 1/2 hour reading time idea as a start to you getting some alone time. Does Tink get a night time snack? That could be based on her getting a shower. In my house the dinner is a very tough battle and I have choosen not to fight it unless I've made what they wanted and they try to change their minds. That doesn't sit well with me...go figure.</p><p></p><p>I also like Timer's idea of 2 choices. My littlest M will fight a time out unless I give him 2 choices of where to go sit, seems silly but it works for him, I guess it gives him just a smidgen of control.</p><p></p><p>One other tip I found helpful is to retrain myself about how I felt listening to the rage/complaining/crying/wall banging...whatever. I tell myself that that is the noise of me doing my job, I try to set expectations for myself of how often I should be hearing it. So when it happens I just tell myself, "that's one"</p><p></p><p>I'm rooting for ya, take care</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="house of cards, post: 228589, member: 2005"] I am also guilty of taking The Explosive Child and using basket 3 too much. I bought the next book he put out and it tries to correct this common problem by putting alot more information on the basket 2-negotiation part. I'm not so hot with basket B, but that is where the difficult child gains their self control and improved behavior. I might be way out of line here but you seem tired, worn out, but a very good and wise mom, so I hope you don't start in deeper then a level you can maintain. It wouldn't help at all if you just shake things up for a month and then slide back to the usual so I hope you make changes you will feel comfortable living with, baby steps if needed. Does Tink read?? I like the 1/2 hour reading time idea as a start to you getting some alone time. Does Tink get a night time snack? That could be based on her getting a shower. In my house the dinner is a very tough battle and I have choosen not to fight it unless I've made what they wanted and they try to change their minds. That doesn't sit well with me...go figure. I also like Timer's idea of 2 choices. My littlest M will fight a time out unless I give him 2 choices of where to go sit, seems silly but it works for him, I guess it gives him just a smidgen of control. One other tip I found helpful is to retrain myself about how I felt listening to the rage/complaining/crying/wall banging...whatever. I tell myself that that is the noise of me doing my job, I try to set expectations for myself of how often I should be hearing it. So when it happens I just tell myself, "that's one" I'm rooting for ya, take care [/QUOTE]
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