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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 228670" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>BBK,</p><p></p><p>You've already received lots of great advice. Unfortunately for us, when it came to difficult child 1, none of the already mentioned advice worked. difficult child 1 just didn't care about negative consequences as a result of his poor behavioral choices. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 1's therapist very wisely told us that in order to get difficult child 1 to obey house rules, we needed to use the one item that difficult child 1 values above everything else - His computer. We explained to difficult child 1 that he had to earn "Reward Time" in order to use his computer. We made a Reward Chart and kept it on the refrigerator. He could earn x amount of time per day IF he followed our rules. He lost x amount of time per day for breaking a rule(s). </p><p></p><p>Like Linda, under no circumstances do we allow violence of any sort, lack of respect, or failure to take medication. If difficult child 1 resorts to any of these things, he loses his Reward Time for that day - period.</p><p></p><p>At first we ignored all behaviors except violence and not taking his medication when asked. Even if he was rude and disrespectful we allowed him to have his Reward Time if he took his medication on time and was not violent. Gradually, we added other items to the list that difficult child 1 must do in order to earn his maximum Reward Time per day.</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, difficult child 1 will be 18 soon and we still have to use Reward Time. In some ways, he is just so immature!!! Unfortunately, his computer IS his life. Sadly, we haven't been able to change this.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, without rambling on and on and on any longer, if you try all of the above ideas and still don't have much luck with Tink, maybe you could try a Reward Chart for awhile. Ideally, you would be able to phase it out gradually. I know there are lots of people here who don't believe in using Reward Charts. For us it has been the one thing that has allowed us a tiny bit of peace. (difficult child 2 is a different story but I won't get into that here.)</p><p></p><p>Sending lots of hugs. I know how difficult it can be when our difficult children rule the household. WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 228670, member: 3388"] BBK, You've already received lots of great advice. Unfortunately for us, when it came to difficult child 1, none of the already mentioned advice worked. difficult child 1 just didn't care about negative consequences as a result of his poor behavioral choices. difficult child 1's therapist very wisely told us that in order to get difficult child 1 to obey house rules, we needed to use the one item that difficult child 1 values above everything else - His computer. We explained to difficult child 1 that he had to earn "Reward Time" in order to use his computer. We made a Reward Chart and kept it on the refrigerator. He could earn x amount of time per day IF he followed our rules. He lost x amount of time per day for breaking a rule(s). Like Linda, under no circumstances do we allow violence of any sort, lack of respect, or failure to take medication. If difficult child 1 resorts to any of these things, he loses his Reward Time for that day - period. At first we ignored all behaviors except violence and not taking his medication when asked. Even if he was rude and disrespectful we allowed him to have his Reward Time if he took his medication on time and was not violent. Gradually, we added other items to the list that difficult child 1 must do in order to earn his maximum Reward Time per day. Unfortunately, difficult child 1 will be 18 soon and we still have to use Reward Time. In some ways, he is just so immature!!! Unfortunately, his computer IS his life. Sadly, we haven't been able to change this. Anyway, without rambling on and on and on any longer, if you try all of the above ideas and still don't have much luck with Tink, maybe you could try a Reward Chart for awhile. Ideally, you would be able to phase it out gradually. I know there are lots of people here who don't believe in using Reward Charts. For us it has been the one thing that has allowed us a tiny bit of peace. (difficult child 2 is a different story but I won't get into that here.) Sending lots of hugs. I know how difficult it can be when our difficult children rule the household. WFEN [/QUOTE]
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