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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 228701" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Personally I would avoid any major move that conveys overtly "I'm taking back control". That means not sitting down and talking with her, etc. I would start slowly and keeping The Explosive Child in mind, start reworking how you phrase things in order to regain some control. Instead of "Let's have chicken for supper" you say "I've made chicken for supper. If you don't want any feel free to have a sandwich or some yogurt." And then don't get bent out of shape if she chooses the option. By phrasing it the way you are now, and then giving up your preference when she fusses, it really does give her the control. </p><p> </p><p> Instead of "Let's buy these holiday decorations" (which gives her control over what <u>you're</u> doing) say "I'm going to buy these. You can pick out something you like for under $3".</p><p> </p><p>Whenever possible, start phrasing things so that her knee jerk "NO" doesn't always impact <u>you</u>. She is a seperate human being from you and is at an age when her options can reflect that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 228701, member: 701"] Personally I would avoid any major move that conveys overtly "I'm taking back control". That means not sitting down and talking with her, etc. I would start slowly and keeping The Explosive Child in mind, start reworking how you phrase things in order to regain some control. Instead of "Let's have chicken for supper" you say "I've made chicken for supper. If you don't want any feel free to have a sandwich or some yogurt." And then don't get bent out of shape if she chooses the option. By phrasing it the way you are now, and then giving up your preference when she fusses, it really does give her the control. Instead of "Let's buy these holiday decorations" (which gives her control over what [U]you're[/U] doing) say "I'm going to buy these. You can pick out something you like for under $3". Whenever possible, start phrasing things so that her knee jerk "NO" doesn't always impact [U]you[/U]. She is a seperate human being from you and is at an age when her options can reflect that. [/QUOTE]
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