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Too true!
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 657752" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>I guess though, if Jabber feels it might be an intent to make him into a bad guy, everyone needs to consider that the other person's pose is possible. Its an important part of the process to remember that as much as we FIRMLY BELIEVE that we and only we "get" our Difficult Child's...we may be befuddled, or carrying our own baggage.</p><p></p><p>People (always men) told me for years that my Difficult Child was manimpulating me. I was convinced, for years, that he was too gullible, too naive, too simple to manipulate anyone. But you know what? He was/is manipulating me. It isn't conscious as in "haha, I can get mom to do xxx if I present it this way". But he knows how to get me to do what he wants, and he knows what his dad will do that I won't, and he knows to try to split me away from my SO...splitting IS manipulation.</p><p></p><p>So I feel your need to believe his innocence...and I feel it would be healthy for you to consider that maybe he is manipulating you without forethought or malicious intent, but manipulation nevertheless.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 657752, member: 17269"] I guess though, if Jabber feels it might be an intent to make him into a bad guy, everyone needs to consider that the other person's pose is possible. Its an important part of the process to remember that as much as we FIRMLY BELIEVE that we and only we "get" our Difficult Child's...we may be befuddled, or carrying our own baggage. People (always men) told me for years that my Difficult Child was manimpulating me. I was convinced, for years, that he was too gullible, too naive, too simple to manipulate anyone. But you know what? He was/is manipulating me. It isn't conscious as in "haha, I can get mom to do xxx if I present it this way". But he knows how to get me to do what he wants, and he knows what his dad will do that I won't, and he knows to try to split me away from my SO...splitting IS manipulation. So I feel your need to believe his innocence...and I feel it would be healthy for you to consider that maybe he is manipulating you without forethought or malicious intent, but manipulation nevertheless. Echo [/QUOTE]
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