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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 622623" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>As we start looking for tools---actually seeking them out---to help us move to a new place as we learn, most of the time very, very slowly, that we aren't going to be able to control, manage, fix or love our difficult child out of his or her difficult child-ness, something amazing happens.</p><p></p><p>We start finding tools. It's proof of one of my favorite and key beliefs: <strong> Anything you focus on will bring results.</strong> (that's OUR focus on OUR lives, not on somebody else's life). </p><p></p><p>One of my newest tools (and I've barely scratched the surface) is the writings of Richard Rohr---here are a few gems. He has a lot of YouTube stuff as well---short and long. He is uplifting to me because he gives some reasoning behind why bad things happen. What the fruit of those can be and might be. I want to know that. I want to study that. I know something good is happening within me as I walk this road. He helps to put it in perspective:</p><p></p><p>________________________________________________________________________________________________</p><p></p><p>Franciscan priest, writer, speaker Richard Rohr on March 20, 2014: "Unless you let the truth of life teach you on its own terms, unless you develop some concrete practice for recognizing and overcoming your dualistic mind, you will remain in the first half of life forever, as much of humanity has up to now. In the first half of life, you cannot work with the imperfect, nor can you accept the tragic sense of life, which finally means that you cannot love anything or anyone at any depth." </p><p></p><p>__________________________________________________________________________________________________</p><p></p><p>“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” </p><p>― <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank">Richard Rohr</a></p><p></p><p>__________________________________________________________________________________________________</p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank">“All great spirituality teaches about letting go of what you don’t need and who you are not. Then, when you can get little enough and naked enough and poor enough, you’ll find that the little place where you really are is ironically more than enough and is all that you need. At that place, you will have nothing to prove to anybody and nothing to protect.</a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank">That place is called freedom. It’s the freedom of the children of God. Such people can connect with everybody. They don’t feel the need to eliminate anybody . . .” </a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank">― [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr']Richard Rohr</a><em><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16221089" target="_blank">https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16221089</a></em>[/URL]</p><p>____________________________________________________________________________________________________</p><p>This is a quick overview/definition of what Rohr means about the two halves of life: </p><p></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em>[URL='https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16221089']In <em>Falling Upward</em>, Fr. Richard Rohr seeks to help readers understand the tasks of the two halves of life and to show them that those who have fallen, failed, or "gone down" are the only ones who understand "up." Most of us tend to think of the second half of life as largely about getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of life, but the whole thesis of this book is exactly the opposite. What looks like falling down can largely be experienced as "falling upward." In fact, it is not a loss but somehow actually a gain, as we have all seen with elders who have come to their fullness.</em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em> <ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Explains why the second half of life can and should be full of spiritual richness</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Offers a new view of how spiritual growth happens?loss is gain</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Richard. Rohr is a regular contributing writer for Sojourners and Tikkun magazines</li> </ul><p>This important book explores the counterintuitive message that we grow spiritually much more by doing wrong than by doing right--a fresh way of thinking about spirituality that grows throughout life. </em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em></em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em>___________________________________________________________________________________________________</em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em></em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em>Rohr talks about the first half of life being about acquiring, security, finding our mate, working, etc. and the second half of life, after all of that is done, is truly about finding ourselves. It is a book about true maturity. It helps make sense of where we have been---all of us---in dealing with our difficult children, and I also think it is very hopeful for many of our difficult children. </em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em></em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em>Out of great pain can come great growth. They, who have been to the depths, can also grow to this amazing place.</em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em></em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em>Great tool for the journey. </em></a></p><p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr" target="_blank"><em></em></a> [/URL]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 622623, member: 17542"] As we start looking for tools---actually seeking them out---to help us move to a new place as we learn, most of the time very, very slowly, that we aren't going to be able to control, manage, fix or love our difficult child out of his or her difficult child-ness, something amazing happens. We start finding tools. It's proof of one of my favorite and key beliefs: [B] Anything you focus on will bring results.[/B] (that's OUR focus on OUR lives, not on somebody else's life). One of my newest tools (and I've barely scratched the surface) is the writings of Richard Rohr---here are a few gems. He has a lot of YouTube stuff as well---short and long. He is uplifting to me because he gives some reasoning behind why bad things happen. What the fruit of those can be and might be. I want to know that. I want to study that. I know something good is happening within me as I walk this road. He helps to put it in perspective: ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Franciscan priest, writer, speaker Richard Rohr on March 20, 2014: "Unless you let the truth of life teach you on its own terms, unless you develop some concrete practice for recognizing and overcoming your dualistic mind, you will remain in the first half of life forever, as much of humanity has up to now. In the first half of life, you cannot work with the imperfect, nor can you accept the tragic sense of life, which finally means that you cannot love anything or anyone at any depth." __________________________________________________________________________________________________ “We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” ― [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr']Richard Rohr[/URL] __________________________________________________________________________________________________ [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr']“All great spirituality teaches about letting go of what you don’t need and who you are not. Then, when you can get little enough and naked enough and poor enough, you’ll find that the little place where you really are is ironically more than enough and is all that you need. At that place, you will have nothing to prove to anybody and nothing to protect. That place is called freedom. It’s the freedom of the children of God. Such people can connect with everybody. They don’t feel the need to eliminate anybody . . .” ― [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr']Richard Rohr[/URL][I][URL='https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16221089'][/URL][/I][/URL] ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ This is a quick overview/definition of what Rohr means about the two halves of life: [URL='https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7919.Richard_Rohr'][I][URL='https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/16221089']In [I]Falling Upward[/I], Fr. Richard Rohr seeks to help readers understand the tasks of the two halves of life and to show them that those who have fallen, failed, or "gone down" are the only ones who understand "up." Most of us tend to think of the second half of life as largely about getting old, dealing with health issues, and letting go of life, but the whole thesis of this book is exactly the opposite. What looks like falling down can largely be experienced as "falling upward." In fact, it is not a loss but somehow actually a gain, as we have all seen with elders who have come to their fullness. [LIST] [*]Explains why the second half of life can and should be full of spiritual richness [*]Offers a new view of how spiritual growth happens?loss is gain [*]Richard. Rohr is a regular contributing writer for Sojourners and Tikkun magazines [/LIST] This important book explores the counterintuitive message that we grow spiritually much more by doing wrong than by doing right--a fresh way of thinking about spirituality that grows throughout life. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ Rohr talks about the first half of life being about acquiring, security, finding our mate, working, etc. and the second half of life, after all of that is done, is truly about finding ourselves. It is a book about true maturity. It helps make sense of where we have been---all of us---in dealing with our difficult children, and I also think it is very hopeful for many of our difficult children. Out of great pain can come great growth. They, who have been to the depths, can also grow to this amazing place. Great tool for the journey. [/I][/URL][I] [/I][/URL] [/QUOTE]
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