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Parent Emeritus
Transitioning: childhood to adulthood+ - a repost
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 60514" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Thank you Allan. I have been saying for a while now that I think daughter needs a life coach/mentor instead of a counselor. I hate when the counselors just want to rehash crap difficult child has already addressed prior from a million years ago...instead of focusing on RIGHT NOW and her future. I did tell the counselor this the other day and she agreed, looked relieved almost. I said its fine if difficult child has issues about my exh to resolve, but I really want the main focus to be on helping difficult child see things in a more positive light, become her own advocate and take baby steps towards planning her future. The counselor seemed excited. difficult child looked a little confused because I think she realized that the jig is up - no more falling back on her typical routine of making it all about everyone else instead of her. I can see that she really wants the guidance she needs but she is paralyzed by fear as to the work required on her part. The counselor told her that we'd be there to support her and help her out, but she needs to WANT to make the changes so she can become a responsible, self sufficient, productive adult in society. I mean, this is nothing new, this is what we've been working on for years. And she was doing well as far as having a job, etc., but just after graduation everything fell apart and I think she is in limbo. Not sure that to do or how to get there. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for your comments, everyone. It's really helped me to remain strong and hopeful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 60514, member: 2211"] Thank you Allan. I have been saying for a while now that I think daughter needs a life coach/mentor instead of a counselor. I hate when the counselors just want to rehash crap difficult child has already addressed prior from a million years ago...instead of focusing on RIGHT NOW and her future. I did tell the counselor this the other day and she agreed, looked relieved almost. I said its fine if difficult child has issues about my exh to resolve, but I really want the main focus to be on helping difficult child see things in a more positive light, become her own advocate and take baby steps towards planning her future. The counselor seemed excited. difficult child looked a little confused because I think she realized that the jig is up - no more falling back on her typical routine of making it all about everyone else instead of her. I can see that she really wants the guidance she needs but she is paralyzed by fear as to the work required on her part. The counselor told her that we'd be there to support her and help her out, but she needs to WANT to make the changes so she can become a responsible, self sufficient, productive adult in society. I mean, this is nothing new, this is what we've been working on for years. And she was doing well as far as having a job, etc., but just after graduation everything fell apart and I think she is in limbo. Not sure that to do or how to get there. Thanks for your comments, everyone. It's really helped me to remain strong and hopeful. [/QUOTE]
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