My son was home for 24 hours over the weekend - came home from rehab yesterday (Sunday) morning. I was very ill all day Saturday. On the couch all day with body aches, headache and stomach pain. Not sure if it was stress or not. I didn't think stress could cause body aches but I don't know.
All was calm yesterday but I was a nervous wreck having him home. Feel like I have PTSD at times. We again hid everything even though he's sober and only steals when using, but I have to remember that at some point when he's sober he makes a wrong choice not to be sober BUT husband felt he would not do anything crazy only being home one day. Went out to lunch with husband and older son. Everything was awkward. Difficult Child has on gold chain he took from his older brother's room when he was on last binge. I didn't have the fight in me to tell him to give it back. Their relationship is very strained as is with his other brother too. Oh well too many battles to fight and I'm still under the weather but at work today.
Today he is on his way to Delray Beach, Florida with his dad - road trip - for an intensive outpatient program and then sober living most likely. I did not want to see him before work today because it would be too hard and luckily he was sleeping. Last night I just hugged him and told him I loved him and reminded him of a some things to pack and to be sure he had everything he needs. He wants to go. Knows he cannot be home. I didn't even want to say anything. There is nothing left to say. I have said it all so many times. He says he wants to get in shape and ride his bike to the beach and get a job. That fills me with hope and sounds like a good plan.
