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Parent Emeritus
Trying to back off, mostly succeeding
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 752471" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>I think that your daughter has a point in that her sex life and b.c. or lack thereof are none of your business. She is 21, an adult woman, and I assume she knows all about sex ed . </p><p></p><p>The only control you have is over your own thoughts, feelings, and actions . The way I have broached some subjects with my daughter is to ask questions. That way, she has the option to decline to talk about it, but usually I will at least learn where she stands . When she dated someone and confided in me that things were moving very quickly, I asked her whether the young man would be participating in the prevention of pregnancy. I learned through my question that she wanted to get b.c. and I asked whether he would contribute financially and take her to the appointment. She did not like my questions and let me know that I was overstepping and I backed off. She then started taking a friend's b.c. and when she shared that with me, all I said was that I thought that was not a good idea . And dropped it.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like due to your beliefs, you are afraid of your daughter getting pregnant. You don't think her capabable/ready to care for a child , and you also don't want her to have an abortion. Since we can only control our own person, this poses a dilemma. You have every right to not chose abortion for yourself , and to judge it as wrong even, and have an opinion against it . I would try to become clear within myself how far I would take my belief as far as my connection with my daughter is concerned if I were in your shoes .</p><p></p><p>Give her some breathing room , and allow her to make mistakes . That's how we all learn . Trust that nothing , absolutely nothing , happens in God's world by mistake .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 752471, member: 24254"] I think that your daughter has a point in that her sex life and b.c. or lack thereof are none of your business. She is 21, an adult woman, and I assume she knows all about sex ed . The only control you have is over your own thoughts, feelings, and actions . The way I have broached some subjects with my daughter is to ask questions. That way, she has the option to decline to talk about it, but usually I will at least learn where she stands . When she dated someone and confided in me that things were moving very quickly, I asked her whether the young man would be participating in the prevention of pregnancy. I learned through my question that she wanted to get b.c. and I asked whether he would contribute financially and take her to the appointment. She did not like my questions and let me know that I was overstepping and I backed off. She then started taking a friend's b.c. and when she shared that with me, all I said was that I thought that was not a good idea . And dropped it. It sounds like due to your beliefs, you are afraid of your daughter getting pregnant. You don't think her capabable/ready to care for a child , and you also don't want her to have an abortion. Since we can only control our own person, this poses a dilemma. You have every right to not chose abortion for yourself , and to judge it as wrong even, and have an opinion against it . I would try to become clear within myself how far I would take my belief as far as my connection with my daughter is concerned if I were in your shoes . Give her some breathing room , and allow her to make mistakes . That's how we all learn . Trust that nothing , absolutely nothing , happens in God's world by mistake . [/QUOTE]
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Trying to back off, mostly succeeding
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