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General Parenting
Trying to Clarify My Feelings....Opinions Welcome!
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 359239" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I have been giving this one some more thought. I think the best way to approach therapist is to focus on difficult child's inability to take on this responsibility. The $$$ is a side effect. Take the focus off the cost and get the therapist to refocus on difficult child's inability to show respect. This is a nutty idea even if you could afford it. The very first step in a decision like this is always the responsibility end of it. Does difficult child have the maturity it takes to have this much responsibility? If not, then the cost is irrelevant. If therapist or difficult child think the cost is what is keeping you from providing the horse, they will both keep at it trying to get you to "find a way" to make it work. You need to get them both to understand why difficult child is not even close to being ready for this.</p><p> </p><p>Like the process I learned in the Manipulative Child book, do not let either of them take the focus off the issue which is really difficult child's inability to take on this responsibility. You can write down what those responsibilities are with RESPECT as the number one most important and which can include paying for room and board. "difficult child would be responsible for getting a job to pay for the room and board and vet bills for the horse". You know she is unable to do that at this time so without mentioning the exact cost, you have already made your point.</p><p> </p><p>As I mentioned before, therapist should be focusing on helping difficult child learn to respect authority (especially at home). Material things are only going to make that worse. You can not buy respect (I am sure you knew that one already!).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 359239, member: 5096"] I have been giving this one some more thought. I think the best way to approach therapist is to focus on difficult child's inability to take on this responsibility. The $$$ is a side effect. Take the focus off the cost and get the therapist to refocus on difficult child's inability to show respect. This is a nutty idea even if you could afford it. The very first step in a decision like this is always the responsibility end of it. Does difficult child have the maturity it takes to have this much responsibility? If not, then the cost is irrelevant. If therapist or difficult child think the cost is what is keeping you from providing the horse, they will both keep at it trying to get you to "find a way" to make it work. You need to get them both to understand why difficult child is not even close to being ready for this. Like the process I learned in the Manipulative Child book, do not let either of them take the focus off the issue which is really difficult child's inability to take on this responsibility. You can write down what those responsibilities are with RESPECT as the number one most important and which can include paying for room and board. "difficult child would be responsible for getting a job to pay for the room and board and vet bills for the horse". You know she is unable to do that at this time so without mentioning the exact cost, you have already made your point. As I mentioned before, therapist should be focusing on helping difficult child learn to respect authority (especially at home). Material things are only going to make that worse. You can not buy respect (I am sure you knew that one already!). [/QUOTE]
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