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Parent Emeritus
Trying to do the right thing - but mentally exhausted
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 731441" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Bun</p><p></p><p>Welcome! Sorry you had to find us but you need to be here!</p><p></p><p>I agree that you have gotten excellent advice from all here.</p><p></p><p>You can see by my signature that we have been at this for a long time with our son. He started at 15 and now he's 22. It's more difficult to be honest when they start as minors because then they really are children. Your son is an adult. My son is an adult also.</p><p></p><p>I would recommend finding a therapist that specializes in addiction. I preferred the one on one approach. She helped me set boundaries with our son - along with this forum and the wise people here. You have to be prepared to take action when your son does not follow the rules that you set for him. </p><p></p><p>You do not have to reinvent the wheel. There is a wheel in place but the spokes are different on all of our "wheels".</p><p></p><p>If you continue on with the way things are, I can pretty much guarantee you that NOTHING will change. Your son will not get better. I feel strongly that he is using more than weed based on your posts.</p><p></p><p>Our son is now in a long term faith based program and for the first time ever I am seeing him grow and change and SEE the way he was thinking and living for what it really is. We have fought hard for him and we will continue to do so but as many have said here and it is so true: love says no. </p><p></p><p>Good luck to you and keep posting and reading until you get the strength to make some changes in your home and your life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 731441, member: 15032"] Bun Welcome! Sorry you had to find us but you need to be here! I agree that you have gotten excellent advice from all here. You can see by my signature that we have been at this for a long time with our son. He started at 15 and now he's 22. It's more difficult to be honest when they start as minors because then they really are children. Your son is an adult. My son is an adult also. I would recommend finding a therapist that specializes in addiction. I preferred the one on one approach. She helped me set boundaries with our son - along with this forum and the wise people here. You have to be prepared to take action when your son does not follow the rules that you set for him. You do not have to reinvent the wheel. There is a wheel in place but the spokes are different on all of our "wheels". If you continue on with the way things are, I can pretty much guarantee you that NOTHING will change. Your son will not get better. I feel strongly that he is using more than weed based on your posts. Our son is now in a long term faith based program and for the first time ever I am seeing him grow and change and SEE the way he was thinking and living for what it really is. We have fought hard for him and we will continue to do so but as many have said here and it is so true: love says no. Good luck to you and keep posting and reading until you get the strength to make some changes in your home and your life. [/QUOTE]
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Trying to do the right thing - but mentally exhausted
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