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General Parenting
Trying to find out why my step-son acts like he does
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 462295" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Welcome to the board!</p><p></p><p>Well, everyone asked all the questions I was going to asked, so I have a few comments.</p><p></p><p>Early disruption in any child's life can cause mild to serious attachment issues in which the child has had too many caregivers and no longer bonds to people the way other kids do. These kids tend to act uncaring toward others and often have very poor impulse control with rages. They don't like to be hugged, except on their terms, IF you are the parent, but tend to go off and hug strangers because it's "safe" to them. They do not understand or like the idea of "love."</p><p></p><p>Also, if ex did drugs while pregnant, she also drank. Fetal alcohol syndrome or effects are likely to have taken place. Is he small for his age? Any dysmorphic features? If not, does he have zilch attention span and a lack of ability to remember things from one day to the next? You already said he doesn't seem to "get" right from wrong, which is a big symptom of fetal alcohol affects. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I adopted a child exposed to drugs/drinking in utero. It does affect the kids! I think you should see a neuropsychologist who is familiar with pre-natal substance abuse. Among the common problems are behaviors like you mentioned, a very poor memory, inability to connect the dots, low IQ or normal IQ with a limited ability to remember things from day-to-day and extreme hyperactivity that may or may not respond to medication. Autism is also common in drug exposed kids (my son has this...fortunately he did not get the bad behavior). You need an expert. </p><p></p><p>Good luck. I don't think it's wise to put this off.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 462295, member: 1550"] Welcome to the board! Well, everyone asked all the questions I was going to asked, so I have a few comments. Early disruption in any child's life can cause mild to serious attachment issues in which the child has had too many caregivers and no longer bonds to people the way other kids do. These kids tend to act uncaring toward others and often have very poor impulse control with rages. They don't like to be hugged, except on their terms, IF you are the parent, but tend to go off and hug strangers because it's "safe" to them. They do not understand or like the idea of "love." Also, if ex did drugs while pregnant, she also drank. Fetal alcohol syndrome or effects are likely to have taken place. Is he small for his age? Any dysmorphic features? If not, does he have zilch attention span and a lack of ability to remember things from one day to the next? You already said he doesn't seem to "get" right from wrong, which is a big symptom of fetal alcohol affects. I adopted a child exposed to drugs/drinking in utero. It does affect the kids! I think you should see a neuropsychologist who is familiar with pre-natal substance abuse. Among the common problems are behaviors like you mentioned, a very poor memory, inability to connect the dots, low IQ or normal IQ with a limited ability to remember things from day-to-day and extreme hyperactivity that may or may not respond to medication. Autism is also common in drug exposed kids (my son has this...fortunately he did not get the bad behavior). You need an expert. Good luck. I don't think it's wise to put this off. [/QUOTE]
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Trying to find out why my step-son acts like he does
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