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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 270941" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi klmno - </p><p> </p><p>I am not a hopeless or hapless romantic. So here's my take on exactly what you wrote. </p><p> </p><p>In one of your first sentences you say that you are attracted to someone a lot. No harm in being attracted to someone unless you start standing outside their home at midnight - attractions make us feel alive and wanted. Those are TWO VERY POWERFUL emotions. </p><p> </p><p>HOWEVER - you go on to say twice that it's [the attraction] "In a way" that you shouldn't be attracted to them, and them to you. What I see there is that you already know this is a no - but you're digging deep for excuses to make it OKAY in your mind for whatever the reason is. Tabu is an even MORE powerful emotion. Tabu is like hunt and conquer in that you and this person should NOT be attracted to but "what if you could....get them?" For some women it's the hunt -for some women it's being "won" like a prize. </p><p> </p><p> IT's OKAY to be attracted to anyone - it's NOT (in my humble opinion) okay to pursue someone in a marriage, relationship, or if you KNOW that the relationship could never work out for a number of reasons. I don't think those types of relationships are lasting because </p><p> </p><p> If a person will step outside of a relationship while with someone else? More than likely they will do it to you as well later on. I always ALWAYS had the last laugh with my x and his "trolley of trolls" each one would always think it was lasting - and he would dump them and go on to the next "hunt/conquest" and the one left was always so sad that he dumped her for another woman when he was married. Skewed logic at it's best. </p><p> </p><p> A person who is worthy of you would tell the other person in their life - "I've met someone, I'm attracted, and I want to pursue this so I'm saying good bye to you." THEN and ONLY THEN go for it. That type of person doing<em><strong> those</strong></em> steps tells me a.) I like the person I'm with and don't want to hurt them and out of respect for the time we've been together - I need to break it off. and b. if they're honorable/honest with the person they are with - it's more likely they will be honorable in a relationship with you - OR should you ever get to have a relationship with this person - they would give YOU the same respect if they ever met someone or would at the least expect this behavior out of you in regards to their feelings. </p><p> </p><p>That doesn't matter if it's a man/woman, woman/woman, or friend/friend. Respect is respect. Tabu is fun - but in the end a lot of people get hurt. </p><p> </p><p>You then say "It probably became OBVIOUS I was attracted." and a third person made a mention. Well, so what? Someone saw that you thought someone else was attractive. Great - have fun flirting - but why would you put yourself in a position with someone who is unavailable - because someone said "I saw that look you got." - I don't think your third party had YOUR best interest at heart - or your heart at the best of interests. </p><p> </p><p>And lastly - you say that this person took your number, but can't contact you for professional reasons???? WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THAT? Either they CAN see you - or they CAN'T because they'll what? Then you tell us that this person TOOK your number but hasn't called. But you just said that this person can't contact you for professional reasons - but took your number....and see where this is dog chases tail hon? WOW......</p><p> </p><p>I think you need a boost - I think you need a day spa/treatment - with a set of new clothes, and a facial, and new makeup, and a haircut - and a little perfume - and then find a place where you can enjoy showing yourself off and getting a little attention - flirting- even if it's BAD flirting - you can still go home alone....Know what I mean?? </p><p> </p><p>You need a self-esteem boost. - So here ya go.......</p><p> </p><p>You're an intelligent, beautiful person, </p><p>You're a funny, charming woman who deserves to be pampered and loved. </p><p>YOU are a person who should NEVER again be abused by a relationship that doesn't care about your best interests from the start. There are plenty of other people out there like you - who ----are looking for the same thing you are - and ARE available. </p><p> </p><p>But - you won't find them - sitting in your house - frumpy, eating Ben and Jerry Cherry Garcia, feeling horrible over your sons recent incarceration, and wishing for things that would be better suited in a day dream /romance novela. </p><p> </p><p>YOU ARE WOMAN HEAR YOU ROAR - or purr softly. </p><p> </p><p>And as my final thought - NO - this person is NOT going to call. MOVE ON. My question to you is WHY would you want someone that couldn't give you everything back that you have to give? Love, Trust, Kindness, Honesty, Appreciation, Caring, and Freedom. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs - been there done that toooooooo many times to not know what I'm talking about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 270941, member: 4964"] Hi klmno - I am not a hopeless or hapless romantic. So here's my take on exactly what you wrote. In one of your first sentences you say that you are attracted to someone a lot. No harm in being attracted to someone unless you start standing outside their home at midnight - attractions make us feel alive and wanted. Those are TWO VERY POWERFUL emotions. HOWEVER - you go on to say twice that it's [the attraction] "In a way" that you shouldn't be attracted to them, and them to you. What I see there is that you already know this is a no - but you're digging deep for excuses to make it OKAY in your mind for whatever the reason is. Tabu is an even MORE powerful emotion. Tabu is like hunt and conquer in that you and this person should NOT be attracted to but "what if you could....get them?" For some women it's the hunt -for some women it's being "won" like a prize. IT's OKAY to be attracted to anyone - it's NOT (in my humble opinion) okay to pursue someone in a marriage, relationship, or if you KNOW that the relationship could never work out for a number of reasons. I don't think those types of relationships are lasting because If a person will step outside of a relationship while with someone else? More than likely they will do it to you as well later on. I always ALWAYS had the last laugh with my x and his "trolley of trolls" each one would always think it was lasting - and he would dump them and go on to the next "hunt/conquest" and the one left was always so sad that he dumped her for another woman when he was married. Skewed logic at it's best. A person who is worthy of you would tell the other person in their life - "I've met someone, I'm attracted, and I want to pursue this so I'm saying good bye to you." THEN and ONLY THEN go for it. That type of person doing[I][B] those[/B][/I] steps tells me a.) I like the person I'm with and don't want to hurt them and out of respect for the time we've been together - I need to break it off. and b. if they're honorable/honest with the person they are with - it's more likely they will be honorable in a relationship with you - OR should you ever get to have a relationship with this person - they would give YOU the same respect if they ever met someone or would at the least expect this behavior out of you in regards to their feelings. That doesn't matter if it's a man/woman, woman/woman, or friend/friend. Respect is respect. Tabu is fun - but in the end a lot of people get hurt. You then say "It probably became OBVIOUS I was attracted." and a third person made a mention. Well, so what? Someone saw that you thought someone else was attractive. Great - have fun flirting - but why would you put yourself in a position with someone who is unavailable - because someone said "I saw that look you got." - I don't think your third party had YOUR best interest at heart - or your heart at the best of interests. And lastly - you say that this person took your number, but can't contact you for professional reasons???? WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THAT? Either they CAN see you - or they CAN'T because they'll what? Then you tell us that this person TOOK your number but hasn't called. But you just said that this person can't contact you for professional reasons - but took your number....and see where this is dog chases tail hon? WOW...... I think you need a boost - I think you need a day spa/treatment - with a set of new clothes, and a facial, and new makeup, and a haircut - and a little perfume - and then find a place where you can enjoy showing yourself off and getting a little attention - flirting- even if it's BAD flirting - you can still go home alone....Know what I mean?? You need a self-esteem boost. - So here ya go....... You're an intelligent, beautiful person, You're a funny, charming woman who deserves to be pampered and loved. YOU are a person who should NEVER again be abused by a relationship that doesn't care about your best interests from the start. There are plenty of other people out there like you - who ----are looking for the same thing you are - and ARE available. But - you won't find them - sitting in your house - frumpy, eating Ben and Jerry Cherry Garcia, feeling horrible over your sons recent incarceration, and wishing for things that would be better suited in a day dream /romance novela. YOU ARE WOMAN HEAR YOU ROAR - or purr softly. And as my final thought - NO - this person is NOT going to call. MOVE ON. My question to you is WHY would you want someone that couldn't give you everything back that you have to give? Love, Trust, Kindness, Honesty, Appreciation, Caring, and Freedom. Hugs - been there done that toooooooo many times to not know what I'm talking about. [/QUOTE]
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