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Trying to Resist Giving difficult child an Eating Disorder...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 393191" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I posted aa long reply but my link is unstable and I lost it. Basically, she needs to be shown, every time, that "honesty" is not the same is "deliberately expressing her views in as nasty a way as possible" and also, that if what she says is not received with howls of laughter, then it clearly was NOT a joke, and the onus is on the joker to be funny and not on the listener to have the right sense of humour. "Know your audience" is an important rule for comedians.</p><p></p><p>Too many bullies use te "I was only joking" cop-ut to weasel out of personal responsibility for inappropriate or hurtful remarks. I tend to find this in adults more than in kids, but I will call an adult on this too, even if it is someone I don't know well. I was subjected to this too much as a kid - it's a power thing, which is what a lot of bullying is about. Someone verbally (or physically) slaps you around and then says, "Cant you take a joke?" </p><p>"Sorry. I'm not laughing, because that was not funny. Let's take this to the man on the street. Excuse me sir, do you find this funny? No? Would you kindly tell this young lady what you consider humour to be? Hmm, let's reconsider - maybe you THOUGHT you were being funny, but now you can see that nobody is laughing - so either YOUR sense of humour is flawed, or absolutely everyone else's. The simplest explanation is always the one taken as most correct, so you need to re-think your strategy. Because if that was intended to be your contribution to humour, here comes that great big hook to haul you off stage."</p><p></p><p>My final comment to such people is, "I've been on this earth for fifty-five years and have many people who will attest to my sense of humour. Yours is still clearly in development. Go look in the mirror."</p><p></p><p>Good luck with this one. Teens like this sometimes can only be managed with a whip and a chair...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 393191, member: 1991"] I posted aa long reply but my link is unstable and I lost it. Basically, she needs to be shown, every time, that "honesty" is not the same is "deliberately expressing her views in as nasty a way as possible" and also, that if what she says is not received with howls of laughter, then it clearly was NOT a joke, and the onus is on the joker to be funny and not on the listener to have the right sense of humour. "Know your audience" is an important rule for comedians. Too many bullies use te "I was only joking" cop-ut to weasel out of personal responsibility for inappropriate or hurtful remarks. I tend to find this in adults more than in kids, but I will call an adult on this too, even if it is someone I don't know well. I was subjected to this too much as a kid - it's a power thing, which is what a lot of bullying is about. Someone verbally (or physically) slaps you around and then says, "Cant you take a joke?" "Sorry. I'm not laughing, because that was not funny. Let's take this to the man on the street. Excuse me sir, do you find this funny? No? Would you kindly tell this young lady what you consider humour to be? Hmm, let's reconsider - maybe you THOUGHT you were being funny, but now you can see that nobody is laughing - so either YOUR sense of humour is flawed, or absolutely everyone else's. The simplest explanation is always the one taken as most correct, so you need to re-think your strategy. Because if that was intended to be your contribution to humour, here comes that great big hook to haul you off stage." My final comment to such people is, "I've been on this earth for fifty-five years and have many people who will attest to my sense of humour. Yours is still clearly in development. Go look in the mirror." Good luck with this one. Teens like this sometimes can only be managed with a whip and a chair... Marg [/QUOTE]
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