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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 660244" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Okie girl, can you start saying this, whenever he texts or calls (no matter what he asks for): No, I'm sorry. I'm sure you can figure it out. I love you. </p><p></p><p>Just say that over and over and over and over, no matter what he says. </p><p></p><p>Write it down and tape it to the back of your phone. Copy and paste it over and over again into your text message, so you don't have to type it. </p><p></p><p>No keys, no help, no brainstorming, no nothing. If and when he comes back to you and says something like this: Hey mom, guess what? I'm making some real changes in my life. </p><p></p><p>Then you could start saying something different. Until then, there truly is nothing else to say to a 43 year old man who chooses to use drugs and be homeless. </p><p></p><p>And I realize you love him and will always hope and pray for something good to happen for him. But you have to think of yourself. It's way past time for that. </p><p></p><p>Keeping it simple and knowing what you will do ahead of time helps with keeping the focus on you and not on him.</p><p></p><p>I remember in Al-Anon this saying: Say what you mean, but don't say it mean.</p><p></p><p>That was my guiding light for a long long time, and I'm still learning and living into that statement. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs for you this morning.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 660244, member: 17542"] Okie girl, can you start saying this, whenever he texts or calls (no matter what he asks for): No, I'm sorry. I'm sure you can figure it out. I love you. Just say that over and over and over and over, no matter what he says. Write it down and tape it to the back of your phone. Copy and paste it over and over again into your text message, so you don't have to type it. No keys, no help, no brainstorming, no nothing. If and when he comes back to you and says something like this: Hey mom, guess what? I'm making some real changes in my life. Then you could start saying something different. Until then, there truly is nothing else to say to a 43 year old man who chooses to use drugs and be homeless. And I realize you love him and will always hope and pray for something good to happen for him. But you have to think of yourself. It's way past time for that. Keeping it simple and knowing what you will do ahead of time helps with keeping the focus on you and not on him. I remember in Al-Anon this saying: Say what you mean, but don't say it mean. That was my guiding light for a long long time, and I'm still learning and living into that statement. Warm hugs for you this morning. [/QUOTE]
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