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tug of war with difficult child, getting old fast
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 88843" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>She's 11? I'm assuming her friends come over because they live in the neighborhood and they walk over, right?</p><p></p><p>If your difficult child doesn't pick up her wrappers, have her friends come in the house and pick them up for her. My difficult child would be mortified. I have no qualms about using peer pressure that way.</p><p></p><p>Also, we have a rule (the child psychiatric came up with-it) that any junk on the floor becomes ours, forever. That means if you're picking up used wrappers, and find a perfectly good pr of pants or bracelet, and you pick that up, too, difficult child loses it. Tough.</p><p></p><p>In regard to sleeping, I've put a sign over the doorbell (I had it in the middle of the door but that wasn't good enough, so I had to actually tape over the doorbell) that said, "Please do not ring b4 9 a.m." Then I told ea child about the rule when I saw them individually. I also told their parents. And most importantly, I told difficult child, with-the stipulation that he could go to their houses if he wanted to, but friends could not come here until I was good and ready.</p><p>The very few times he broke the rule, I walked right up in my PJs (evidently I'm less modest than you, LOL! but frankly, the "costume" helps drive the point home) and told the kids they'd awakened me and they had to leave. They all felt really badly. (Except difficult child, who was embarrassed by me, but not by his own actions. But it achieved the same results--the kids left.)</p><p></p><p>The funny thing is, all the other parents started to do the same thing! They didn't put notes on the doorbell, but if difficult child came over too early, they'd just send him back out and tell him not to come back for 3 hrs., like that was a novel idea or something, LOL! It's actually very logical.</p><p>I guess they just needed one parent to be bold enough to actually send their kids away b4 they knew it was okay to send mine away.</p><p>Hey, it's MY HOUSE! That's the bottom line.</p><p></p><p>If difficult child melts down later and accuses me of embarrassing him in front of his friends, he's grounded for the next day or so.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 88843, member: 3419"] She's 11? I'm assuming her friends come over because they live in the neighborhood and they walk over, right? If your difficult child doesn't pick up her wrappers, have her friends come in the house and pick them up for her. My difficult child would be mortified. I have no qualms about using peer pressure that way. Also, we have a rule (the child psychiatric came up with-it) that any junk on the floor becomes ours, forever. That means if you're picking up used wrappers, and find a perfectly good pr of pants or bracelet, and you pick that up, too, difficult child loses it. Tough. In regard to sleeping, I've put a sign over the doorbell (I had it in the middle of the door but that wasn't good enough, so I had to actually tape over the doorbell) that said, "Please do not ring b4 9 a.m." Then I told ea child about the rule when I saw them individually. I also told their parents. And most importantly, I told difficult child, with-the stipulation that he could go to their houses if he wanted to, but friends could not come here until I was good and ready. The very few times he broke the rule, I walked right up in my PJs (evidently I'm less modest than you, LOL! but frankly, the "costume" helps drive the point home) and told the kids they'd awakened me and they had to leave. They all felt really badly. (Except difficult child, who was embarrassed by me, but not by his own actions. But it achieved the same results--the kids left.) The funny thing is, all the other parents started to do the same thing! They didn't put notes on the doorbell, but if difficult child came over too early, they'd just send him back out and tell him not to come back for 3 hrs., like that was a novel idea or something, LOL! It's actually very logical. I guess they just needed one parent to be bold enough to actually send their kids away b4 they knew it was okay to send mine away. Hey, it's MY HOUSE! That's the bottom line. If difficult child melts down later and accuses me of embarrassing him in front of his friends, he's grounded for the next day or so. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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