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Substance Abuse
Ultimatum Given, now Trepidation....
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<blockquote data-quote="PonyGirl" data-source="post: 59448" data-attributes="member: 187"><p>Hi Mikey, and wife,too! You're getting excellent advice from all our wonderful Warrior Parents here, and you know we all support you 100%</p><p></p><p>I don't have any other words of wisdom to offer, just wanted to let you know I'm still following, and you & yours are in my thoughts.</p><p></p><p>I found it really interesting, when Suz pointed out how you've changed in these last months, your response in relaying that yes, first you were full of Fear, and now you are full of Anger...Hey! You're in a Process! You're Going thru Stages!!</p><p></p><p>And I hope that soon, you will be in Acceptance.</p><p></p><p>Detachment is a skill we seem to acquire around here, shortly after we most desparately need it....</p><p></p><p>And don't be too shocked if you slip back into Fear now and then.</p><p></p><p>Also, I would tell you, I found defiance of my parenting within the counseling community, too. I had one counselor point out to me that my methods weren't working, so maybe it was time to try something different. My methods at that time were: difficult child is Grounded. Not allowed out to do anything with anybody. Had been grounded for about 2 years at that point. :crazy: I wasn't good at coming up with other consequences :crazy:</p><p></p><p>So, I let difficult child go free. Within 1 week, we picked him up off the sidewalk dead-drunk. I am not exaggerating. His BAL was .275. He was 14 years old. It was February in Wisconsin. Had we not found him, he could very easily have died.</p><p></p><p>You do what you know in your heart is right. Not saying all counselors are bad, or don't know their hole from a butt in the ground, but don't feel lonely either if you doubt what they are saying to you.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child always presented well. I've had more than one cop tell me, "He's courteous and polite." "He's friendly and well-behaved." Yeah, too bad he keeps breaking the law, huh!! I always took that with a grain of salt, and reminded myself it was better than having him punch out the police...</p><p></p><p>Gosh, the things we're grateful for... :wink:</p><p></p><p>You & wife are going to be entering into the worst of it, if you truly do hold up the consequences suggested here. difficult child will flip out in a huge way, because he's never ever had to face up to his actions like this before.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong. You ARE doing the right thing. Remember your Dancer. My easy child was my strongest help in remaining detached and firm with my difficult child. I truly believe today that my detachment is was saved difficult child's life.</p><p></p><p>Peace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PonyGirl, post: 59448, member: 187"] Hi Mikey, and wife,too! You're getting excellent advice from all our wonderful Warrior Parents here, and you know we all support you 100% I don't have any other words of wisdom to offer, just wanted to let you know I'm still following, and you & yours are in my thoughts. I found it really interesting, when Suz pointed out how you've changed in these last months, your response in relaying that yes, first you were full of Fear, and now you are full of Anger...Hey! You're in a Process! You're Going thru Stages!! And I hope that soon, you will be in Acceptance. Detachment is a skill we seem to acquire around here, shortly after we most desparately need it.... And don't be too shocked if you slip back into Fear now and then. Also, I would tell you, I found defiance of my parenting within the counseling community, too. I had one counselor point out to me that my methods weren't working, so maybe it was time to try something different. My methods at that time were: difficult child is Grounded. Not allowed out to do anything with anybody. Had been grounded for about 2 years at that point. [img]:crazy:[/img] I wasn't good at coming up with other consequences [img]:crazy:[/img] So, I let difficult child go free. Within 1 week, we picked him up off the sidewalk dead-drunk. I am not exaggerating. His BAL was .275. He was 14 years old. It was February in Wisconsin. Had we not found him, he could very easily have died. You do what you know in your heart is right. Not saying all counselors are bad, or don't know their hole from a butt in the ground, but don't feel lonely either if you doubt what they are saying to you. My difficult child always presented well. I've had more than one cop tell me, "He's courteous and polite." "He's friendly and well-behaved." Yeah, too bad he keeps breaking the law, huh!! I always took that with a grain of salt, and reminded myself it was better than having him punch out the police... Gosh, the things we're grateful for... [img]:wink:[/img] You & wife are going to be entering into the worst of it, if you truly do hold up the consequences suggested here. difficult child will flip out in a huge way, because he's never ever had to face up to his actions like this before. Stay strong. You ARE doing the right thing. Remember your Dancer. My easy child was my strongest help in remaining detached and firm with my difficult child. I truly believe today that my detachment is was saved difficult child's life. Peace [/QUOTE]
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