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Unhooking from drama
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 652748" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I know I did. In fact, I was so unaware of my own behavior that when one of my good friends said...."you're always around during the bad times to help, but when times are good you kind of disappear"....I thought that was a compliment.</p><p></p><p>hahahahahaha...Not. </p><p></p><p>I was GOOD at other people's drama, and I would keep it ramped up as long as they would.</p><p></p><p>Because I was "solving" their problems for them. Miss Fix It. Just call me, I'll tell you what to do. Simple, 1, 2, 3, and your problems are solved. </p><p></p><p>Ugh. That is how I feel about that person I was then...now. Ugh. </p><p></p><p>This is where this comes in: I am so grateful for the alcoholics and drug addicts in my life because without them I never would have found peace through changing myself. </p><p></p><p>The first time I heard that said by the old-timers in Al-Anon I thought I had entered the loony bin. </p><p></p><p>Now I say it myself. </p><p></p><p>One of my dearest friends is "addicted to crisis" according to another friend. She and I used to ramp each other up. Now that I don't practice that behavior (much at all) anymore, I find that we don't talk as often. We can talk about problems but I don't get down and dirty with it. I don't think that is very satisfying to her. </p><p></p><p>When we change, other people don't like it, and that is often an unexpected consequence. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love knowing this!!! So you have just broken down the last barrier for me! lol. </p><p></p><p>Remember when difficult child was stabbed? The police cordoned off the street, he collapsed in the middle of it, and someone called 911. Detectives raced to the scene, interviewing everybody, police sirens wailing....lots and lots of drama. I was later told all about it from multiple sources. </p><p></p><p>I got the call after he was already in the ER. I missed every bit of that drama (of course he caused more, later on). </p><p></p><p> And to think, he turned out just fine without my always-essential help (she says, tongue firmly in cheek). </p><p></p><p>Sometimes you just have to walk the path before you get it. At least in my case.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 652748, member: 17542"] I know I did. In fact, I was so unaware of my own behavior that when one of my good friends said...."you're always around during the bad times to help, but when times are good you kind of disappear"....I thought that was a compliment. hahahahahaha...Not. I was GOOD at other people's drama, and I would keep it ramped up as long as they would. Because I was "solving" their problems for them. Miss Fix It. Just call me, I'll tell you what to do. Simple, 1, 2, 3, and your problems are solved. Ugh. That is how I feel about that person I was then...now. Ugh. This is where this comes in: I am so grateful for the alcoholics and drug addicts in my life because without them I never would have found peace through changing myself. The first time I heard that said by the old-timers in Al-Anon I thought I had entered the loony bin. Now I say it myself. One of my dearest friends is "addicted to crisis" according to another friend. She and I used to ramp each other up. Now that I don't practice that behavior (much at all) anymore, I find that we don't talk as often. We can talk about problems but I don't get down and dirty with it. I don't think that is very satisfying to her. When we change, other people don't like it, and that is often an unexpected consequence. I love knowing this!!! So you have just broken down the last barrier for me! lol. Remember when difficult child was stabbed? The police cordoned off the street, he collapsed in the middle of it, and someone called 911. Detectives raced to the scene, interviewing everybody, police sirens wailing....lots and lots of drama. I was later told all about it from multiple sources. I got the call after he was already in the ER. I missed every bit of that drama (of course he caused more, later on). And to think, he turned out just fine without my always-essential help (she says, tongue firmly in cheek). Sometimes you just have to walk the path before you get it. At least in my case. [/QUOTE]
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