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Unreasonable?
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 119079" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Well, apart from the bru-ha-ha, I think it comes down to respect. When someone is late I usually am a funeral planner. The later you are, the more detailed the funeral I have planned for you. Everyone knows this about me, and if someone tells me when they will be home, they call to let me know if they will be late.</p><p></p><p>CAmom, it's up to you what you will and won't provide for your child. My opinion on the subject is that you provide him with too much freedom and prevent him from providing for himself. But, that's what you want, so that's what you do. </p><p></p><p>If you're a worrier too, and it bothers you that he's not home on time and not calling you, why don't <em>you</em> call <em>him</em>? Hopefully his friends will razz him because his Mommy is worried about him, and he'll figure it out. </p><p></p><p>Out of curiosity, when you say that this is a rule, are there clear consequences for breaking this rule, and if so, are you prepared to carry out the consequences? Is there any plan beyond you are going to get him through his surgeries? It feels a lot like you all are delaying the inevitable. He has to get a job and move out one day. Or at least move out one day.</p><p></p><p>When L was 22ish and moved in with us, she would tell me where she was going, and I would also ask if she didn't. There was no hard and fast rule for when she had to come home, and yes I knew she was partying. I didn't like it, but it was my perogative to make that decision. She also called me if she was going to be later than she said she was going to be. But as she was generally going out to meet friends at a bar, I knew she'd be home later than I was going to be up, so I didn't ask. She usually came home, as I recall. She also knew that there was a certain date that she had to move out by, and we stuck by that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 119079, member: 99"] Well, apart from the bru-ha-ha, I think it comes down to respect. When someone is late I usually am a funeral planner. The later you are, the more detailed the funeral I have planned for you. Everyone knows this about me, and if someone tells me when they will be home, they call to let me know if they will be late. CAmom, it's up to you what you will and won't provide for your child. My opinion on the subject is that you provide him with too much freedom and prevent him from providing for himself. But, that's what you want, so that's what you do. If you're a worrier too, and it bothers you that he's not home on time and not calling you, why don't [i]you[/i] call [i]him[/i]? Hopefully his friends will razz him because his Mommy is worried about him, and he'll figure it out. Out of curiosity, when you say that this is a rule, are there clear consequences for breaking this rule, and if so, are you prepared to carry out the consequences? Is there any plan beyond you are going to get him through his surgeries? It feels a lot like you all are delaying the inevitable. He has to get a job and move out one day. Or at least move out one day. When L was 22ish and moved in with us, she would tell me where she was going, and I would also ask if she didn't. There was no hard and fast rule for when she had to come home, and yes I knew she was partying. I didn't like it, but it was my perogative to make that decision. She also called me if she was going to be later than she said she was going to be. But as she was generally going out to meet friends at a bar, I knew she'd be home later than I was going to be up, so I didn't ask. She usually came home, as I recall. She also knew that there was a certain date that she had to move out by, and we stuck by that. [/QUOTE]
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