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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 660295" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You may want to join three of us from this forum on Watercooler in our "Family of Origin thread" which is quite long (we use FOO for Family of Origin). At least you can read some of it and see what we are doing to cope with difficult families. </p><p></p><p>I can only imagine your discomfort. I prefer to stay away from drama, but that's me. Once my kids are adults, I don't feel I have to "be a good mother" anymore...we are all adults making decisions. But that again is my way of handling things. I don't have a large family that gets together a lot either...that would have made my journey much worse and more complicated.</p><p></p><p>At this time in my life, I tend to stay away from drama, wherever it is.</p><p></p><p>Only you know what you can handle. There is no right or wrong way to behave. You are perfectly entitled to take care of YOUR needs first. You raised your kids and you are a fully grown adult who doesn't need her family's across-the-board approval anymore. </p><p></p><p>You left out a lot of details so all I sense from your post is the discomfort. I would be one to support you in lessening your discomfort by either not going or going later on so you don't see your son and wife. Also, remember, you can not control anything another person does. You have no control over anybody except yourself. We all have this dilemma. Therefore, whether you approve or don't approvae of family reaching out to your estranged son and wife without including you, they are free to do as they want and we are free to decide to really get mad and have it affect our lives or to accept it and let it go. I learned from a long, long trek that being angry about something doesn't help or change anything a nd I also believe that hanging around with family, yes even family, that you are uncomfortable around is a choice, not a mandate. </p><p></p><p>I hope you can find some peace <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Welcome to the forum <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 660295, member: 1550"] You may want to join three of us from this forum on Watercooler in our "Family of Origin thread" which is quite long (we use FOO for Family of Origin). At least you can read some of it and see what we are doing to cope with difficult families. I can only imagine your discomfort. I prefer to stay away from drama, but that's me. Once my kids are adults, I don't feel I have to "be a good mother" anymore...we are all adults making decisions. But that again is my way of handling things. I don't have a large family that gets together a lot either...that would have made my journey much worse and more complicated. At this time in my life, I tend to stay away from drama, wherever it is. Only you know what you can handle. There is no right or wrong way to behave. You are perfectly entitled to take care of YOUR needs first. You raised your kids and you are a fully grown adult who doesn't need her family's across-the-board approval anymore. You left out a lot of details so all I sense from your post is the discomfort. I would be one to support you in lessening your discomfort by either not going or going later on so you don't see your son and wife. Also, remember, you can not control anything another person does. You have no control over anybody except yourself. We all have this dilemma. Therefore, whether you approve or don't approvae of family reaching out to your estranged son and wife without including you, they are free to do as they want and we are free to decide to really get mad and have it affect our lives or to accept it and let it go. I learned from a long, long trek that being angry about something doesn't help or change anything a nd I also believe that hanging around with family, yes even family, that you are uncomfortable around is a choice, not a mandate. I hope you can find some peace :) Welcome to the forum :) [/QUOTE]
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