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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 628386" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Anytime you get new information and have new insights, you can change your mind and tell the other person just that. We don't have to "stick with" something we said if we have new information and have changed our minds. That is our adult prerogative. </p><p></p><p>Many people stop staying out to all hours because of the very real responsibilities they have, like a job and children to take care of. If they have none of that, why would they come home at any given time, especially if they are 18, which is still barely of legal age? They won't. </p><p></p><p>I think having a curfew is for you and it is perfectly reasonable, given that this is your home and you and husband have to go to work and want somewhat of a schedule in your household. Your house, your rules. If they don't like your reasonable rules, they can move out. </p><p></p><p>We have to stop the flow of money. Until we do, they can't learn anything about real life. And the sooner, the better. Again, a word I tried to use and live by (in the early, early days, before my son went down this awful different road) was reasonable. What is reasonable? And I was the one who decided that, not difficult child. I was still paying for college, cell phone, insurance, while he with his part time job paid for gas, spending money, etc. Same with easy child. It should be a shifting of financial responsibility, not an overnight whammy. </p><p></p><p>Hugs to you. Hang in there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 628386, member: 17542"] Anytime you get new information and have new insights, you can change your mind and tell the other person just that. We don't have to "stick with" something we said if we have new information and have changed our minds. That is our adult prerogative. Many people stop staying out to all hours because of the very real responsibilities they have, like a job and children to take care of. If they have none of that, why would they come home at any given time, especially if they are 18, which is still barely of legal age? They won't. I think having a curfew is for you and it is perfectly reasonable, given that this is your home and you and husband have to go to work and want somewhat of a schedule in your household. Your house, your rules. If they don't like your reasonable rules, they can move out. We have to stop the flow of money. Until we do, they can't learn anything about real life. And the sooner, the better. Again, a word I tried to use and live by (in the early, early days, before my son went down this awful different road) was reasonable. What is reasonable? And I was the one who decided that, not difficult child. I was still paying for college, cell phone, insurance, while he with his part time job paid for gas, spending money, etc. Same with easy child. It should be a shifting of financial responsibility, not an overnight whammy. Hugs to you. Hang in there! [/QUOTE]
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