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Parent Emeritus
Update -Emancipation Issue (haven't been here in a few months)
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 300120" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm sorry that this turned out this way for you. I'm just guessing, but are you in NY State? The laws are very different there from most places, but I suppose it could be just as bad in other states.</p><p></p><p>You have a week, so I suppose that as hopeless as it seems, I would work with that. The worst that can happen is always that things don't turn out as you would like them to. It's time to have a heart to heart with your son about what it will mean for him to be emancipated. </p><p></p><p>He should understand that while it <em>is</em> his father that got this ball rolling, it's his own inaction on college that will allow it to play out. That leaves him without certain things that he now has access to. (I'm not clear whether that is only tuition - which is HUGE - or also medical and other services.) I will always regret that I didn't get a degree when I had a chance. I think most anyone feels that way.</p><p></p><p>I assume you have a zero tolerance for drugs policy, and probably other rules in your house that he is not entirely happy with. I think that at this late date, all you can probably do is explain to him that if he lets this opportunity slide, should he ever decide that he wants to attend college and do something more than his part time job he will be at the mercy of his own credit. Also, he should consider that if there are rules at your house that he doesn't want to abide by, he may have to find a way to live elsewhere on his current salary. </p><p></p><p>These aren't the decisions we would make for our kids. But, at this point it is the decision your son seems to be making for himself. All you can do is help him to understand what the consequences could be, and also help him to understand that many of us regret "the road not taken" for the rest of our lives. That road may have forced us into a temporarily more difficult stretch, but it would have made our lives so much easier in the long run.</p><p></p><p>Of course, you will love him no matter what decision he makes, but if he decides to become emancipated, he'll have to accept the consequences like a man, not a boy.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Hopefully someone from NY where the laws are more like this will be able to give more insight. From what I recall, the courts aren't terribly invested in keeping the support there for the kids when they stray from the things that their parents have to offer and a parent wants out. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 300120, member: 99"] I'm sorry that this turned out this way for you. I'm just guessing, but are you in NY State? The laws are very different there from most places, but I suppose it could be just as bad in other states. You have a week, so I suppose that as hopeless as it seems, I would work with that. The worst that can happen is always that things don't turn out as you would like them to. It's time to have a heart to heart with your son about what it will mean for him to be emancipated. He should understand that while it [I]is[/I] his father that got this ball rolling, it's his own inaction on college that will allow it to play out. That leaves him without certain things that he now has access to. (I'm not clear whether that is only tuition - which is HUGE - or also medical and other services.) I will always regret that I didn't get a degree when I had a chance. I think most anyone feels that way. I assume you have a zero tolerance for drugs policy, and probably other rules in your house that he is not entirely happy with. I think that at this late date, all you can probably do is explain to him that if he lets this opportunity slide, should he ever decide that he wants to attend college and do something more than his part time job he will be at the mercy of his own credit. Also, he should consider that if there are rules at your house that he doesn't want to abide by, he may have to find a way to live elsewhere on his current salary. These aren't the decisions we would make for our kids. But, at this point it is the decision your son seems to be making for himself. All you can do is help him to understand what the consequences could be, and also help him to understand that many of us regret "the road not taken" for the rest of our lives. That road may have forced us into a temporarily more difficult stretch, but it would have made our lives so much easier in the long run. Of course, you will love him no matter what decision he makes, but if he decides to become emancipated, he'll have to accept the consequences like a man, not a boy. Good luck. Hopefully someone from NY where the laws are more like this will be able to give more insight. From what I recall, the courts aren't terribly invested in keeping the support there for the kids when they stray from the things that their parents have to offer and a parent wants out. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this. [/QUOTE]
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Update -Emancipation Issue (haven't been here in a few months)
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