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Parent Emeritus
Update on 28 yo son
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 742129" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Thank you all for your comfort and insights. I have copied and pasted many of them and printed it out to read and re-read when I'm struggling. </p><p>I blocked J from my phone yesterday after his second call, and I feel much better already. Maybe it's just the sense of not being at the mercy of his angry rants anymore. And so I continue on the road toward acceptance and peace. I know there will be days when the FOG hits again, but I do think I'm moving toward knowing and believing the truth of the situation. </p><p></p><p>Elsi, your words: "I know it feels shocking to have this go through your mind, but I understand. Hope is a double-edged sword. It can keep us going, but it also can keep us in limbo and keep us from moving on with our lives. When we are still holding out hope, there is no closure. Each tiny move towards progress rekindles our hope and sends it blazing, and then we find that hope dashed over and over and over again as they keep making the same bad choices. It can be excruciating." This really hit the mark for me. You are right--the very hope that keeps us going also keeps us tied to them and in limbo. That was an "ah ha" moment for me. I need to keep hope I think but it needs to be tempered with a good dose of reality, that he may never come around and he may very well end up in prison or dead, and I think I need to put away any expectation that things will get better. I need to focus on being a good steward of the life that God has given me and not waste it in anguish over what has become of his life. </p><p>By the way, one question: How do you do create the excerpts from other posts as some of you did above, the ones where you quote something someone has said in order to comment on it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 742129, member: 22597"] Thank you all for your comfort and insights. I have copied and pasted many of them and printed it out to read and re-read when I'm struggling. I blocked J from my phone yesterday after his second call, and I feel much better already. Maybe it's just the sense of not being at the mercy of his angry rants anymore. And so I continue on the road toward acceptance and peace. I know there will be days when the FOG hits again, but I do think I'm moving toward knowing and believing the truth of the situation. Elsi, your words: "I know it feels shocking to have this go through your mind, but I understand. Hope is a double-edged sword. It can keep us going, but it also can keep us in limbo and keep us from moving on with our lives. When we are still holding out hope, there is no closure. Each tiny move towards progress rekindles our hope and sends it blazing, and then we find that hope dashed over and over and over again as they keep making the same bad choices. It can be excruciating." This really hit the mark for me. You are right--the very hope that keeps us going also keeps us tied to them and in limbo. That was an "ah ha" moment for me. I need to keep hope I think but it needs to be tempered with a good dose of reality, that he may never come around and he may very well end up in prison or dead, and I think I need to put away any expectation that things will get better. I need to focus on being a good steward of the life that God has given me and not waste it in anguish over what has become of his life. By the way, one question: How do you do create the excerpts from other posts as some of you did above, the ones where you quote something someone has said in order to comment on it? [/QUOTE]
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