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General Parenting
Update on difficult child and the grands
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 572447" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>dstc_99: The problem isn't that you would be selfish or even that you would sound selfish, you certainly don't. And we would be the first to encourage you to take care of yourself first. But it sounds like you are just now seeing things very bleak and desperate and getting stuck to worse case scenarios. Taking the step back, breathing a little and talking with therapist may help you see more options in your situation. And to see that it is not so much all or nothing just now. Your daughter is 17, she is likely having some very common 'ruining the nest' behaviour on the top of her difficult child issues. Many, many families go through it and it can be painful even with very well adjusted kids. They start to grow out of the home and the transition is *itch for everyone. Those days when they are starting to be too big to fit under parents roof but not yet big enough to have their own roof.</p><p></p><p>Even if your daughter would end up living some of this transition period under her grandparents roof, it is very unlikely that would end your relationship. In fact it may help it mend more quickly. My difficult child moved out when he was 17, lives three hours away and now two years later we have better relationship and are closer than in almost ten years.</p><p></p><p>Of course it is up to you and your husband to decide how to proceed, but it could help, if you could wait till he is back and you can all sit down and try to have a calm conversation about the different options. First you and your husband, then later you two with your parents and your daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 572447, member: 14557"] dstc_99: The problem isn't that you would be selfish or even that you would sound selfish, you certainly don't. And we would be the first to encourage you to take care of yourself first. But it sounds like you are just now seeing things very bleak and desperate and getting stuck to worse case scenarios. Taking the step back, breathing a little and talking with therapist may help you see more options in your situation. And to see that it is not so much all or nothing just now. Your daughter is 17, she is likely having some very common 'ruining the nest' behaviour on the top of her difficult child issues. Many, many families go through it and it can be painful even with very well adjusted kids. They start to grow out of the home and the transition is *itch for everyone. Those days when they are starting to be too big to fit under parents roof but not yet big enough to have their own roof. Even if your daughter would end up living some of this transition period under her grandparents roof, it is very unlikely that would end your relationship. In fact it may help it mend more quickly. My difficult child moved out when he was 17, lives three hours away and now two years later we have better relationship and are closer than in almost ten years. Of course it is up to you and your husband to decide how to proceed, but it could help, if you could wait till he is back and you can all sit down and try to have a calm conversation about the different options. First you and your husband, then later you two with your parents and your daughter. [/QUOTE]
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