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Update on difficult child, bad attitude but still doing right things
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 549777" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>You are probably right. The trip was taxing for him. The physical part alone (long flights, jet lag, no time to regroup in any point) is hard and while difficult child is experienced traveller and this was certainly not his first trip with the team, those are always hard for him socially. There were some new guys in the team he didn't know very well beforehand, there were guys he did steal from (yes, those things have been atoned, but socially still very awkward situation), it was competitive situation (and difficult child didn't have his best games, far from that) and there was also lots of socialising with kids from other teams and whom he only knew very few beforehand. So he was likely exhausted when he came back. And it certainly haven't been easy even after coming home.</p><p></p><p>Pre-season means lots of constant changes and trying this and that, more people in team than normal, atmosphere being more competitive, lots of 'extracurriculars' (events for sponsors, fans etc.) to get things going before calming things down and getting to the routine, getting to know the new guys in the team, having to get used to not having some of the old team mates around etc. difficult child's 'babysitter' was one of those who left during the summer. He was not exactly a close friend, but an older guy who 'happened' to be sitting next to difficult child in locker room and who just 'happened' to notice and tell difficult child if difficult child was about to forget some part of his gear or something like that when packing to away games (or when packing before heading back home) or if difficult child was about to get himself forgotten to rest stop etc. difficult child again 'happens' to have one of the older, most experienced guys sitting next to him on locker room (and yeah, that just never happens, that older, high in pecking order guys just happen to end up sitting next to the rookies to worst seats, that's why ''s), so he is still receiving babysitting services, but of course it's the big change still.</p><p></p><p>And then there is of course competing of position. Last season was bad. difficult child started as third string, not expected to get much playing time and mostly to play in junior team. He quickly surpassed the number two guy and gave a run for his money for the number one, surpassing him at times and it was not even clear who was the number one in the end. No one expected him to do so well but now expectations are much higher. difficult child isn't, and wasn't in later part of the season, in the speaking terms with the number one guy and it was difficult, because that guy was extremely popular in the team, known as a nice guy and of course blame of their relationship being so bad was on difficult child, because he is certainly not known to be a nice guy. It probably wasn't that clear cut though, this number one is about ten years older than difficult child, coming to prime of his career and last season was his chance to show if he could get to the level there he would be able to leave small teams behind, get to the big ones and change the first number of his six figure pay check from 1 to 2. And he didn't play badly, and in fact got himself to 'big team' and the nice raise to his salary for this season, but difficult child certainly rained to his parade. All the before season talk about him are about if he will be able to make it in the big team and how it is not very promising, that last season he was often surpassed by this wet behind the ears problem boy who is still far from his prime. So difficult child did give some major blows to his ego so I'm not at all sure he even wanted to be friendly with difficult child. But anyway when he and difficult child couldn't be fitted to same room nicely, it was always easy choice to their team mates to deicide who to include and who not to. Him leaving is a good thing for difficult child but somehow difficult child should achieve a better relationship with his new main competitor. Who again is known as a nice guy and is quite a bit older than difficult child and has a lot to prove.</p><p></p><p>So life and work in general has a lot to navigate for difficult child just now and you are likely right that being PITA is just about being overwhelmed. And of course this was from the call he made to me. Maybe venting to mom over phone is not that bad way to try to blow some steam. As said, he is mostly <strong><em>doing </em></strong>the right things <strong><em>there he is</em></strong>. It really does not matter that much what he is <strong><em>saying </em></strong>to <em><strong>me on the phone</strong></em>.</p><p></p><p>He is just so good at getting the raise out of me. I did manage to stay calm while talking to him, but I was fuming after the call. But again, maybe that was the best way. Be a rock for him, while he is venting and dealing with my own irritations and embarrassment over raising such an ungrateful and obnoxious child on my own. Intellectually I know better than expect him to be able to be grateful of the chance he has now. He may understand how much people have worked to help him in five or ten years, but it is probably beyond his understanding right now. And many of those people who are helping him probably do get it. It's just not fun to be a mother of total brat, when it feels that every other mother (in these same circles) are complimented how smart, mature and good kids their sons are and how well they have been raised. Of course it is not statistically possible for every talented young athlete in this sport also be mature beyond their years, so I guess someone has to have the kid who evens all those super kids down. And I happened to be the lucky winner <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/onesmiley1.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":onesmiley1:" title="onesmiley1 :onesmiley1:" data-shortname=":onesmiley1:" /> <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/bigsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bigsmile:" title="big smile :bigsmile:" data-shortname=":bigsmile:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 549777, member: 14557"] You are probably right. The trip was taxing for him. The physical part alone (long flights, jet lag, no time to regroup in any point) is hard and while difficult child is experienced traveller and this was certainly not his first trip with the team, those are always hard for him socially. There were some new guys in the team he didn't know very well beforehand, there were guys he did steal from (yes, those things have been atoned, but socially still very awkward situation), it was competitive situation (and difficult child didn't have his best games, far from that) and there was also lots of socialising with kids from other teams and whom he only knew very few beforehand. So he was likely exhausted when he came back. And it certainly haven't been easy even after coming home. Pre-season means lots of constant changes and trying this and that, more people in team than normal, atmosphere being more competitive, lots of 'extracurriculars' (events for sponsors, fans etc.) to get things going before calming things down and getting to the routine, getting to know the new guys in the team, having to get used to not having some of the old team mates around etc. difficult child's 'babysitter' was one of those who left during the summer. He was not exactly a close friend, but an older guy who 'happened' to be sitting next to difficult child in locker room and who just 'happened' to notice and tell difficult child if difficult child was about to forget some part of his gear or something like that when packing to away games (or when packing before heading back home) or if difficult child was about to get himself forgotten to rest stop etc. difficult child again 'happens' to have one of the older, most experienced guys sitting next to him on locker room (and yeah, that just never happens, that older, high in pecking order guys just happen to end up sitting next to the rookies to worst seats, that's why ''s), so he is still receiving babysitting services, but of course it's the big change still. And then there is of course competing of position. Last season was bad. difficult child started as third string, not expected to get much playing time and mostly to play in junior team. He quickly surpassed the number two guy and gave a run for his money for the number one, surpassing him at times and it was not even clear who was the number one in the end. No one expected him to do so well but now expectations are much higher. difficult child isn't, and wasn't in later part of the season, in the speaking terms with the number one guy and it was difficult, because that guy was extremely popular in the team, known as a nice guy and of course blame of their relationship being so bad was on difficult child, because he is certainly not known to be a nice guy. It probably wasn't that clear cut though, this number one is about ten years older than difficult child, coming to prime of his career and last season was his chance to show if he could get to the level there he would be able to leave small teams behind, get to the big ones and change the first number of his six figure pay check from 1 to 2. And he didn't play badly, and in fact got himself to 'big team' and the nice raise to his salary for this season, but difficult child certainly rained to his parade. All the before season talk about him are about if he will be able to make it in the big team and how it is not very promising, that last season he was often surpassed by this wet behind the ears problem boy who is still far from his prime. So difficult child did give some major blows to his ego so I'm not at all sure he even wanted to be friendly with difficult child. But anyway when he and difficult child couldn't be fitted to same room nicely, it was always easy choice to their team mates to deicide who to include and who not to. Him leaving is a good thing for difficult child but somehow difficult child should achieve a better relationship with his new main competitor. Who again is known as a nice guy and is quite a bit older than difficult child and has a lot to prove. So life and work in general has a lot to navigate for difficult child just now and you are likely right that being PITA is just about being overwhelmed. And of course this was from the call he made to me. Maybe venting to mom over phone is not that bad way to try to blow some steam. As said, he is mostly [B][I]doing [/I][/B]the right things [B][I]there he is[/I][/B]. It really does not matter that much what he is [B][I]saying [/I][/B]to [I][B]me on the phone[/B][/I]. He is just so good at getting the raise out of me. I did manage to stay calm while talking to him, but I was fuming after the call. But again, maybe that was the best way. Be a rock for him, while he is venting and dealing with my own irritations and embarrassment over raising such an ungrateful and obnoxious child on my own. Intellectually I know better than expect him to be able to be grateful of the chance he has now. He may understand how much people have worked to help him in five or ten years, but it is probably beyond his understanding right now. And many of those people who are helping him probably do get it. It's just not fun to be a mother of total brat, when it feels that every other mother (in these same circles) are complimented how smart, mature and good kids their sons are and how well they have been raised. Of course it is not statistically possible for every talented young athlete in this sport also be mature beyond their years, so I guess someone has to have the kid who evens all those super kids down. And I happened to be the lucky winner :onesmiley1: :bigsmile: [/QUOTE]
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Update on difficult child, bad attitude but still doing right things
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