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General Parenting
Update on difficult child J.... some good some not
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 211009" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>It is good news that rages are fewer and further between. That means something is working right. </p><p> </p><p>It is so hard to deal with defiance. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes calling their bluff helps. Do you realize how shocked he would be if you let him go out the door without shoes? Try, "I see you don't want to put on your shoes. We really do have to go right now so I will put your shoes in your back pack and when you are ready for them you can put them on." Then let him walk barefoot or stocking foot out the door. Of course, this will only work if you are giving him a ride to school - not healthy to get on a bus without shoes. (but let him walk to the bus stop and make a comment about how gross the floors of the bus are and wonder if difficult child is ready to put his shoes on yet.) You are putting the responsibility back into his lap - "Part of being a big boy is getting dressed and deciding when to wear shoes or boots."</p><p> </p><p>I think the key is to keep the decision to wear the shoes with difficult child. Don't allow him to play the, "You can't make me" game. It is not a matter of you "making" him, it is a matter of him choosing how he wants to protect his feet from getting cold or injured. You can bluff just as much as he can. Don't let him know when something angers you. Try to make non-personal observations, "difficult child, I have never heard of anyone going to school or work without shoes. Are you ready to tell your teacher why you are the first one? If they are not on when school starts, she is going to ask you where your shoes are." Then go ahead and take him to school. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know what will work for your difficult child these are just ideas. Maybe giving him a choice will help. "difficult child, can you look outside to see if we should wear shoes or boots today?" If he makes the decision for both of you he will put the shoes on and learn to watch the weather. Have his boots ready to go and allow him to wear his boots and carry his shoes if that is his decision.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 211009, member: 5096"] It is good news that rages are fewer and further between. That means something is working right. It is so hard to deal with defiance. Sometimes calling their bluff helps. Do you realize how shocked he would be if you let him go out the door without shoes? Try, "I see you don't want to put on your shoes. We really do have to go right now so I will put your shoes in your back pack and when you are ready for them you can put them on." Then let him walk barefoot or stocking foot out the door. Of course, this will only work if you are giving him a ride to school - not healthy to get on a bus without shoes. (but let him walk to the bus stop and make a comment about how gross the floors of the bus are and wonder if difficult child is ready to put his shoes on yet.) You are putting the responsibility back into his lap - "Part of being a big boy is getting dressed and deciding when to wear shoes or boots." I think the key is to keep the decision to wear the shoes with difficult child. Don't allow him to play the, "You can't make me" game. It is not a matter of you "making" him, it is a matter of him choosing how he wants to protect his feet from getting cold or injured. You can bluff just as much as he can. Don't let him know when something angers you. Try to make non-personal observations, "difficult child, I have never heard of anyone going to school or work without shoes. Are you ready to tell your teacher why you are the first one? If they are not on when school starts, she is going to ask you where your shoes are." Then go ahead and take him to school. I don't know what will work for your difficult child these are just ideas. Maybe giving him a choice will help. "difficult child, can you look outside to see if we should wear shoes or boots today?" If he makes the decision for both of you he will put the shoes on and learn to watch the weather. Have his boots ready to go and allow him to wear his boots and carry his shoes if that is his decision. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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Update on difficult child J.... some good some not
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