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Update on difficult child who recently moved out. Could it be?
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<blockquote data-quote="Sabine" data-source="post: 620209" data-attributes="member: 17639"><p>Ok, so I don't know anything from anything but..</p><p></p><p>What this sounds like is the kid has issues, maybe bipolar, maybe social anxiety, maybe depression.</p><p></p><p>When he got a change of scenery he was able to "snap out of it", turn a new leaf. After about a week, he goes back to the same-old same old... because he CAN.</p><p></p><p>The town changed, and the faces, but the situation didn't. He's still living at home, has a roof, a bed, meals provided. </p><p></p><p>He needs to get out on his own ASAP. Make him have to work for a living. He has the basic skills, he just has to be forced to use them. Take away the soft, comfy bed, and filling hot meals, and people will show their true capabilities. </p><p></p><p>If he's truly mentally ill, he'll go into a downward spiral, end up homeless, etc. If this were to happen, and you couldn't bear it, you could always go, and scrape him up off the street, give him the basement, and care for him the rest of your days. At that point, at least you KNOW that you gave him a shot, and he just couldn't do it.</p><p></p><p>I actually think you'll see a different outcome based on his history (and this recent glimpse of normalcy). He may always be plagued with depression, but I seriously doubt he'll be homeless. He'll get up, go to work, pay his bills, maybe meet someone and start a family.. or maybe spend his evenings at the bar with some buddies. Either way, he won't be wasting away in his parents' (grandparents') house.</p><p></p><p>How to make it happen? Suddenly kicking him out of doors really isn't helping anybody. A plan has to be created, with timelines etc.</p><p></p><p>I'm not in your shoes, so I can't say what would work for you and your family.. but the following is what I would do in this situation:</p><p></p><p>Go shopping.. purchase a hiking backpack, a good sleeping bag and pad, some dried food, etc. Everything a person needs that is planning on camping out for a couple weeks. (Google hiking/camping packing lists so I wouldn't forget something).</p><p></p><p>Then I'd tell my kid to do some research, because he's going to be moving to another part of the country, and I want him to be part of the decision making process as to where he is going. </p><p></p><p>Ideally the town would be relatively small (maybe 20k people), but big enough to have some job opportunities, and a convenient campground. </p><p></p><p>Prepay the campground for 3 months, and provide 2 weeks worth of rations. Leave the kid there. It would be great if he has a vehicle, but as long as the town is small enough, he can walk if necessary. </p><p></p><p>That's it. I did just this when I was his age, and it was good for me <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sabine, post: 620209, member: 17639"] Ok, so I don't know anything from anything but.. What this sounds like is the kid has issues, maybe bipolar, maybe social anxiety, maybe depression. When he got a change of scenery he was able to "snap out of it", turn a new leaf. After about a week, he goes back to the same-old same old... because he CAN. The town changed, and the faces, but the situation didn't. He's still living at home, has a roof, a bed, meals provided. He needs to get out on his own ASAP. Make him have to work for a living. He has the basic skills, he just has to be forced to use them. Take away the soft, comfy bed, and filling hot meals, and people will show their true capabilities. If he's truly mentally ill, he'll go into a downward spiral, end up homeless, etc. If this were to happen, and you couldn't bear it, you could always go, and scrape him up off the street, give him the basement, and care for him the rest of your days. At that point, at least you KNOW that you gave him a shot, and he just couldn't do it. I actually think you'll see a different outcome based on his history (and this recent glimpse of normalcy). He may always be plagued with depression, but I seriously doubt he'll be homeless. He'll get up, go to work, pay his bills, maybe meet someone and start a family.. or maybe spend his evenings at the bar with some buddies. Either way, he won't be wasting away in his parents' (grandparents') house. How to make it happen? Suddenly kicking him out of doors really isn't helping anybody. A plan has to be created, with timelines etc. I'm not in your shoes, so I can't say what would work for you and your family.. but the following is what I would do in this situation: Go shopping.. purchase a hiking backpack, a good sleeping bag and pad, some dried food, etc. Everything a person needs that is planning on camping out for a couple weeks. (Google hiking/camping packing lists so I wouldn't forget something). Then I'd tell my kid to do some research, because he's going to be moving to another part of the country, and I want him to be part of the decision making process as to where he is going. Ideally the town would be relatively small (maybe 20k people), but big enough to have some job opportunities, and a convenient campground. Prepay the campground for 3 months, and provide 2 weeks worth of rations. Leave the kid there. It would be great if he has a vehicle, but as long as the town is small enough, he can walk if necessary. That's it. I did just this when I was his age, and it was good for me ;) [/QUOTE]
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Update on difficult child who recently moved out. Could it be?
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