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Update on difficult child who recently moved out. Could it be?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620349" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hey...it's up to him to change. You can't control him anymore. And, no matter what, even if he is mentally ill, he has to take control of his own illness. I have struggled with mental illness all of my life and nobody scraped me off the ground and took me in nor is it necessary. Like all illnesses, there is treatment and you won't be around forever. He has to learn to take care of himself. I wouldn't buy him anything or rent him anything, if it were me. He needs to do this himself. Of course, this is just how I see it. If Gramps and Gran want to pay for him, there is always a necessary and often unpleasant payback. Like your sibs do, your son will have to kiss their feet and put up with verbal abuse to keep on getting the free money. And he may not like that, but when you depend on somebody, as an adult, for your money and your well being, you pay a hefty price. Maybe he will walk out on them. You never know.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you had a decent V-day and I sure wish you'd send some of that warmer weather this way <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Hope you can keep your mind serene and focused on yourself...and continue detaching gently from your son and his drama.</p><p></p><p>Hugs <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620349, member: 1550"] Hey...it's up to him to change. You can't control him anymore. And, no matter what, even if he is mentally ill, he has to take control of his own illness. I have struggled with mental illness all of my life and nobody scraped me off the ground and took me in nor is it necessary. Like all illnesses, there is treatment and you won't be around forever. He has to learn to take care of himself. I wouldn't buy him anything or rent him anything, if it were me. He needs to do this himself. Of course, this is just how I see it. If Gramps and Gran want to pay for him, there is always a necessary and often unpleasant payback. Like your sibs do, your son will have to kiss their feet and put up with verbal abuse to keep on getting the free money. And he may not like that, but when you depend on somebody, as an adult, for your money and your well being, you pay a hefty price. Maybe he will walk out on them. You never know. I'm glad you had a decent V-day and I sure wish you'd send some of that warmer weather this way :) Hope you can keep your mind serene and focused on yourself...and continue detaching gently from your son and his drama. Hugs :) [/QUOTE]
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Update on difficult child who recently moved out. Could it be?
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