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Update on DS
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 757570" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>It's been quite a while and I hope everyone is still doing well. This is the first time I have checked this board since I began this thread. </p><p></p><p>Copa, I really liked what you said about your son taking advantage of your support and using the respite you provide to continue indulging his selfish impulses. I think that's where we are with DS. He has been with us about nine months and the honeymoon is over. He has forgotten where he was when we took him in and he is now acting as though we, and everyone, owe him a royal standard of living.</p><p></p><p>DS is somebody who needs to live hard in order to stay on the right path of lawfulness and productiveness in society. By that I mean, he needs to work hard for his money and for his possessions, and he needs to be kept busy by something external like a job, with as little free and unstructured time as possible. Otherwise he becomes lazy and entitled. </p><p></p><p>He refuses to clean up after himself in the kitchen, for example, and when we brought this up to him his response was that we "should not look" at his mess if it bothered us. Typical self-centered, bratty behavior. Meanwhile, he has no expenses here other than gas for his car. We pay for everything - and while we can manage that in our budget, as you said Copa, this is not teaching DS the skills he needs to live independently as a productive and cooperative human being. And it's annoying as hell for me.</p><p></p><p>His new grandiose plan is to move out with friends in the fall. His work is still open but his hours have been cut to practically nothing, so he makes very little money. </p><p></p><p>Because his expenses are so low, he has some money in the bank. </p><p>He is too young and too arrogant to understand how quickly those savings will evaporate without a steady income. He thinks his meager savings will allow him to live like a king with several of his friends. </p><p></p><p>DS is someone who won't take no for an answer and won't listen to anyone so I don't try. I do hope he will follow through on his plans and move out sooner than later. I think the school of hard knocks is what he needs most of all. But we'll see what happens.</p><p></p><p>Adding to this is the fact that my W's health is declining. She is undergoing tests. It may be C. And if it is, it may be bad. I will try to keep updated as I can. It helps me to post here and help other families with my experience.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 757570, member: 13303"] It's been quite a while and I hope everyone is still doing well. This is the first time I have checked this board since I began this thread. Copa, I really liked what you said about your son taking advantage of your support and using the respite you provide to continue indulging his selfish impulses. I think that's where we are with DS. He has been with us about nine months and the honeymoon is over. He has forgotten where he was when we took him in and he is now acting as though we, and everyone, owe him a royal standard of living. DS is somebody who needs to live hard in order to stay on the right path of lawfulness and productiveness in society. By that I mean, he needs to work hard for his money and for his possessions, and he needs to be kept busy by something external like a job, with as little free and unstructured time as possible. Otherwise he becomes lazy and entitled. He refuses to clean up after himself in the kitchen, for example, and when we brought this up to him his response was that we "should not look" at his mess if it bothered us. Typical self-centered, bratty behavior. Meanwhile, he has no expenses here other than gas for his car. We pay for everything - and while we can manage that in our budget, as you said Copa, this is not teaching DS the skills he needs to live independently as a productive and cooperative human being. And it's annoying as hell for me. His new grandiose plan is to move out with friends in the fall. His work is still open but his hours have been cut to practically nothing, so he makes very little money. Because his expenses are so low, he has some money in the bank. He is too young and too arrogant to understand how quickly those savings will evaporate without a steady income. He thinks his meager savings will allow him to live like a king with several of his friends. DS is someone who won't take no for an answer and won't listen to anyone so I don't try. I do hope he will follow through on his plans and move out sooner than later. I think the school of hard knocks is what he needs most of all. But we'll see what happens. Adding to this is the fact that my W's health is declining. She is undergoing tests. It may be C. And if it is, it may be bad. I will try to keep updated as I can. It helps me to post here and help other families with my experience. [/QUOTE]
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