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Update on my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 599788" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Witz, Man's search for meaning by Frankl and Night by Wiesel can be found used on Amazon if you're interested. </p><p></p><p>You aren't selfish, you're hurt. You aren't lingering in the past, you are trying to heal from the hurt. When our hearts are so wounded, they need special care to become whole once again.</p><p></p><p>Yes, your therapist making a comparison between you and concentration camp victims makes sense to me. It has sounded to me as if you were tormented, abused, lied to, manipulated, deeply harmed and broken...........at the hands of those who should have been taking care of you and loving you. I believe your pain needs to be acknowledged and "gotten" ........deeply heard by someone so you can begin to let it go. And, you certainly seem determined to make that happen, which is a necessary step.</p><p></p><p>I am holding many good thoughts for you as you travel down this new path of healing.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for the ideas about moving, my present home doesn't hold any negative memories. My daughter has spent little time here, we've only been here for 6 years and my granddaughter loves it here, so close to her school and friends. We do have plans to perhaps move when we retire, although that has more to do with moving towards something then away from something. </p><p></p><p>Over many years I've read a lot about what happened during the war to those interned in concentration camps and I was always truly amazed and inspired by those who came through that horror without hate in their hearts, revenge on their minds and an extreme rage which would not be extinguished.................and then there were those who turned the experience into grace and their lives transformed us.</p><p></p><p> Barbara, I have watched Brene Brown's video's many times, I believe what she is teaching to be the truth, vulnerability and an open heart are the tools of healing, perhaps the opposite of what we might have thought initially. </p><p></p><p>We are all suffering in our personal tragedies, however, once we walk on that razor's edge of healing our broken hearts, I believe we emerge out of all of it, certainly changed from it, but with a deep knowledge and understanding of how much is out of our control.........control can kill life and by giving it up, I believe we gain life, peace, a "lightness of being." Does that make sense? I am still walking through all of this, but I do feel so much better then I did, all the struggles with my daughter ended up giving me these interesting "opportunities for growth." Perhaps being able to integrate the light and the dark within us and within life is what makes us whole.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 599788, member: 13542"] Witz, Man's search for meaning by Frankl and Night by Wiesel can be found used on Amazon if you're interested. You aren't selfish, you're hurt. You aren't lingering in the past, you are trying to heal from the hurt. When our hearts are so wounded, they need special care to become whole once again. Yes, your therapist making a comparison between you and concentration camp victims makes sense to me. It has sounded to me as if you were tormented, abused, lied to, manipulated, deeply harmed and broken...........at the hands of those who should have been taking care of you and loving you. I believe your pain needs to be acknowledged and "gotten" ........deeply heard by someone so you can begin to let it go. And, you certainly seem determined to make that happen, which is a necessary step. I am holding many good thoughts for you as you travel down this new path of healing. Thank you for the ideas about moving, my present home doesn't hold any negative memories. My daughter has spent little time here, we've only been here for 6 years and my granddaughter loves it here, so close to her school and friends. We do have plans to perhaps move when we retire, although that has more to do with moving towards something then away from something. Over many years I've read a lot about what happened during the war to those interned in concentration camps and I was always truly amazed and inspired by those who came through that horror without hate in their hearts, revenge on their minds and an extreme rage which would not be extinguished.................and then there were those who turned the experience into grace and their lives transformed us. Barbara, I have watched Brene Brown's video's many times, I believe what she is teaching to be the truth, vulnerability and an open heart are the tools of healing, perhaps the opposite of what we might have thought initially. We are all suffering in our personal tragedies, however, once we walk on that razor's edge of healing our broken hearts, I believe we emerge out of all of it, certainly changed from it, but with a deep knowledge and understanding of how much is out of our control.........control can kill life and by giving it up, I believe we gain life, peace, a "lightness of being." Does that make sense? I am still walking through all of this, but I do feel so much better then I did, all the struggles with my daughter ended up giving me these interesting "opportunities for growth." Perhaps being able to integrate the light and the dark within us and within life is what makes us whole. [/QUOTE]
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