Hi Zone, just wanted to give my support, been reading along but very busy with some issues.
My two have blamed me for their troubles for quite some time now. At first, I soul searched and had regrets over mistakes I made along the way as a parent. Of course I made mistakes, I am human. I realized that blaming me was a way my two avoided taking responsibility for their choices.
I am sorry for your troubles finding help within the system. It is not right or fair. I hope this time your son will get the program he needs.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. There is so much support here on CD. You are not alone.
(((Hugs)))
Leafy