Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on Nichole
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 135364" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>This is what I was told by a very good therapist: Whether the kids seem to be listening or not, whether they do as we suggest or not, the simple fact that we speak the words giving them a right way to go will stay with them. One day, they will hear the words. Those words will help them know how to get out of wherever their current poor choices bring them.</p><p></p><p>The therapist told me always to remember that we are teaching our children in everything we say and do ~ whether it looks like they hear us, or not.</p><p></p><p>That is why it is so important that we not condemn our kids for their poor choices. They will remember that, too ~ and when that day finally comes that they are ready to walk a different path, they won't believe in themselves enough to do it if we have implied either that what they are doing now is a right way to go, or that there is something intrinsically wrong with them.</p><p></p><p>Addiction is addiction, and it can happen to anyone who gets caught in that net.</p><p></p><p>Lisa, I know this is hard for you. I think it is better for Nicole to learn this lesson now though, than later. We bailed difficult child out so many times ~ and every time, it was the wrong thing to do. Knowing that helping is only delaying the lesson ~ and that the lessons get harder, the older the kids get ~ is the only thing that keeps us from doing more for him now.</p><p></p><p>Even after all we have been through with him, that hard-won understanding really is the only thing that stops us from bailing him out again. </p><p></p><p>I am hoping with you that things turn around for Nicole.</p><p></p><p>This may be the thing that will help her see that this person she is with is not someone she should have in her life.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this is happening, Lisa.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 135364, member: 1721"] This is what I was told by a very good therapist: Whether the kids seem to be listening or not, whether they do as we suggest or not, the simple fact that we speak the words giving them a right way to go will stay with them. One day, they will hear the words. Those words will help them know how to get out of wherever their current poor choices bring them. The therapist told me always to remember that we are teaching our children in everything we say and do ~ whether it looks like they hear us, or not. That is why it is so important that we not condemn our kids for their poor choices. They will remember that, too ~ and when that day finally comes that they are ready to walk a different path, they won't believe in themselves enough to do it if we have implied either that what they are doing now is a right way to go, or that there is something intrinsically wrong with them. Addiction is addiction, and it can happen to anyone who gets caught in that net. Lisa, I know this is hard for you. I think it is better for Nicole to learn this lesson now though, than later. We bailed difficult child out so many times ~ and every time, it was the wrong thing to do. Knowing that helping is only delaying the lesson ~ and that the lessons get harder, the older the kids get ~ is the only thing that keeps us from doing more for him now. Even after all we have been through with him, that hard-won understanding really is the only thing that stops us from bailing him out again. I am hoping with you that things turn around for Nicole. This may be the thing that will help her see that this person she is with is not someone she should have in her life. I'm sorry this is happening, Lisa. Barbara [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on Nichole
Top